The Sound of Silence

The employees of the Lazy K are not speaking to one another, because they don't want to appear in this blog. I kid you not. They think one of them is a mole, and keep changing their minds as to who it might be. They spent a day looking for cameras in the bathroom. The cameras were taken out a week ago when one of the ex-inmates went on a permanent lunch break.

The theory is that if you don't appear in the blog, you are probably the snitch. Man is that difficult to manipulate when you are dealing with a bunch of paranoid half wits.

The CSB called two people she thinks are two of the three authors, the ones who left the Lazy K, and told one she was really surprised to read the blog, because she considered the author a good friend, and is feeling hurt and sad, even though she constantly berated that person over a 5 year period, and the CSB asked the other one to come back to work, even though she thinks he tried to kill her dogs.

Did she sound fucked up to you too?

She has been leaving comments on the blog, and they are interesting to see. YOU CAN TELL SOME OF THEM ARE HERS BECAUSE SHE WRITES LIKE THIS. But today it was learned that someone at the Lazy K actually demonstrated to the CSB how to turn the caps off, so it gets a little tricky from here on out. If they seem to lack a certain lucidity, or appear to have been written by an alien as a means of communicating with the mother ship or someone back on her home planet in code, chances are that the CSB is the author.

Little Baby Hitler says that if one of the alleged authors sets foot in the Lazy K, Baby Hitler will put the smackdown on him, because he brought Baby Hitler's family into the blog by mentioning that Baby Hitler's wife is fat and doesn't give it up, or at least that's what Baby Hitler says to anyone who will listen all the fucking time. Baby Hitler should be happy we haven't gotten to the story of him and CBR600 girl yet. But that light at the end of the tunnel is going to look mighty like a train when it gets close. Because we will. Soon.

Business is a little slow at the Lazy K these days and the rats are jumping ship.

Star had an interview on his day off at the large clean new Motorsports dealership in town, and has been sending inquiries to dealerships in the state where he hopes his Meal Ticket lands a job. We have been told that they interviewed him at the Motorsports dealership as a joke, because they have read the blog and wanted to meet him. They're still laughing. He should buy that trash car that only a loser would drive while he still has a co-signer.

Paco is wondering if the place he used to work did go back to the old pay plan, the one they had when he was happy there. He heard they did, and wants to check it out.

Mondo is trying to marry an illegal alien he met on a recent road trip and move to a sweaty third world country.

And speaking of illegal aliens...

The Rhino is stuck to her chair like a week old burrito, the kind we like to feed Bandit, waiting for that wonderful day her green card arrives. She likes Karaoke, and needs to learn the words to "(I want to live in) America," from West Side Story. Friar Tuck is still calling the INS, trying to get her fat ass deported.

So what's new at the blog, you might ask? Well, we have a new author, who goes by the name of JW. He read some of the blog, thinks he knows the CSB, and has offered to share his experiences with her. Evidently the Bitch did a lot of Crazy Screaming during the whole time he was working with and fucking her. He claims to have been in sales and 20 years her junior. He also says she likes it rough. Really rough.

Who says Spring is not in the air? Things are definitely warming up at the Lazy K.

14 comments:

Anonymous said...

I used to work in a machine shop that would replicate this dealership in almost everyway.
I have to admit I found this blog months ago and it is funnier than a cat on acid.

You would be amazed about how many middle-aged men running machine shops that are carbon copies of the CSB!

CSB said...

Dear Mondo, I hate to disappoint you but nothing could be further from the truth. Life is wonderful at the Lazy K. Because I am a caring individual, I want to offer you some insight. You really should find a more constructive hobby. I, myself, am in the best shape of my life. I work out everyday, eat right, and get plenty of sleep. I've never been happier. I have a man that loves me and supports me in every way. I truly hope that you find this someday. I doubt that you will post this but food for thought anyway. Wishing you the best.

CSB

Moike said...

Classic... After reading today about the CSB adding looney toon commentary on the blog, I found this in the comments of one of the very first posts;

"Anonymous said...
IS THE CSB SINGLE? CUZ SHE SOUNDS LIKE AN AWESOME CHICK TO DATE
4/18/2007 2:46 PM"

I actually spit out coffee when I saw that gem.

The CSB doesn't have issues, she's got full blown subscriptions.

A Former Customer said...

She's a big fat crazy eyed elefant seal.

Freddie Fife said...

Honey,

I can't find my vicodin. Did you see where I left it?

Brian said...

If you have to go invitation only please invite me.
Thanks

GSXR customer said...

I know who CSB is and dude this chick is smokin hot. I mean SMOKIN HOT. I'd hit that for sure! She has always been nice and took very good care of me. I would never buy from anyone else. She is hot, sweet amd professional. This guy sounds like he got shot down. There are other fish in the sea go find one.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Been There, Hit That, Had to Get the Shot said...

GSXR customer said...

I know who CSB is and dude this chick is smokin hot. I mean SMOKIN HOT. I'd hit that for sure! She has always been nice and took very good care of me. I would never buy from anyone else. She is hot, sweet amd professional. This guy sounds like he got shot down. There are other fish in the sea go find one.

4/21/2007 7:56 AM

So you believe in the Crazy Screaming Bitch. Some woman who thinks she is the CSB was POSTING IN CAPS THAT THIS STORY IS FICTION, and you come along and say she is real and that she is SMOKIN HOT. You sound like a real tool. Or a shill. Do you know what a shill is?

now that you mention fish, have you noticed a sour milk smell when you are diving for shaved clams? Maybe you are gobbling up Taco Dave's semen.

Apparently Crazy said...

Holy hot shit, batman!

You weren't kidding about this getting even more interesting now. Can't wait to hear more from the peanut gallery.

Hell, I may even start blogging about the shop again, too. Maybe now that I've left the morgue and am back in the land of wild orgies again.

S said...

Long time listener...first time caller.
I've enjoyed this train wreck for a long time. If anything should happen, please keep on writing. You might have a *little* talent at it. ;)

Julie said...

This is absolutely fabulous stuff. Can you at least tell me what city you are in? My friends and I are addicted to this site.

Doug said...

Julie, I agree. I want to know what state it's in too! Just a hint?
I love this blog!

canuck said...

All the way up in Canuck land... and I have been visiting this site weekly since I found it.

Whomever the authors are... they are good story tellers. Love it! If it goes invite only... how do we request and invite?