Idiot's Guide to Unemployment Benefits

Few people realize that if they quit an awful place to work and can prove it was an awful place to work, they are eligible to collect unemployment benefits. One enterprising former inmate at the Lazy K is presently collecting unemployment benefits after quiting and claiming she left because she no longer wanted to take part in illegal and unethical actions. In another brilliant executive decision, the Old Battleax responded to the claim by demanding proof of these illegal and unethical actions.

So the ex-inmate printed off the District Attorney's page from the Internet about suing the Lazy K for fraud, and brought that and a couple emails from the CSB ordering illegal happy pills from a Canadian pharmacy and two from craigslist with dick pics sent to the CSB at the company account to the hearing. According to those sissies who work for the state, breaking the law and committing fraud can not be part of your job description. Even at the Lazy K. And you don't have to look at dick pics on the company computer either.

If you are an inmate at the Lazy K, and have put up with their shit for 3 months or more, you are probably eligible for unemployment, even if you quit.

Other things to mention in filling out your claim, if your supervisor is the Homeless Guy or Fearless Leader, are the racist, anti-gay and sexist remarks you have constantly overheard. If you work back in service and have been called a fucking idiot be someone besides a customer, and you probably have on a pretty continuous basis since you started, because you are one, you are also eligible to collect.

Get them checks rollin' in.

Bad Star, No Gixxer

All he had to do was make the payments.

Star convinced the Meal Ticket that his bad credit was the result of bad things happening to him and bad things other people had done. So to make him happy and live with her, the Meal Ticket let Star run up her credit to buy a Suzuki GSXR600, and a big screen TV, and max out everything else in her name, as long as he made the payments.

The way the program works is that if Star makes the payments on time, he gets to ride the GSXR for $99 a month. If he doesn't, the interest rate jumps to loan shark and the payment triples.

Because the Lazy K is experience record declining sales, lawsuits and a lack of potential employees willing to work for a psychotic pill popping despot and her little rent boy, Star's bonuses haven't quite equalled all the new debt his Meal Ticket took on. So he was late making the $99 payment.

Between the two of them, Star and the Meal Ticket couldn't get the lender to lower the payment back to something they could pay together if she hangs out at the Lazy K and answers the phones and makes sure Star isn't having sex with the CSB now that Freddie Fife is dumping her cazy ass and the Rhino isn't around to rebuild her myspace and type for her so she sounds intelligent and coherent while she trolls for new meat on the internet, so the Meal Ticket put her foot down and told Star the Gixxer has to go.

Of course, Star still owes about what he paid for it, so his only alternative was to get another motorcycle. And the only lender who will finance Star's Meal Ticket at this point is Honda. Fortunately, the Lazy K bought a whole truckload of old VTX1300s for $5900 each. So Star was able to get out of the Gixxer and onto an old man's motorcycle nobody wanted for two years in a row, and the payments are only about double what he promised to pay last time and didn't.

The Meal Ticket doesn't mind. There's space for her big ass on the back of the new bike.