Dude, Where the Fuck's my Bike?

This guy called service today to see if his bike is ready to be picked up. I would say "fixed," but that's stretching things. If it's still running after we've touched it, that's a good thing.

It is a 2006 Yamaha R6, and we can't find it.

Star and the service department spent the morning trying to figure out where it is, and then Famous Nobody the drag racing snitch sauntered in a couple days late. He thinks he remembers leaving the bike outside with the key in it Saturday night.

When she awoke from her self induced coma in the back office, the CSB said, "Tell the fucker to call his insurance company, because we're not responsible."


Since she's been on the outs with Freddie Fife, and the Meal Ticket has Star under direct supervision, the CSB has been calling and emailing everyone who's fucked her recently, hoping to find someone willing to do it again and prove that she's wonderful, desirable, and young. That's a lot of email and phone calls. And a couple of responses.

Taco Dave showed up and took the CSB to lunch, leaving his faggy little dogs behind to fight with the Poodle and piss on the ATVS and floor.

We welcomed the three hours of what passes for sanity at the Lazy K, and managed to get some work done. The Buddha resolved the wide receiver controversy on his fantasy football league, and Star wrote up Famous Nobody, the drag racing snitch nobody has ever heard of, for doing burnouts and wheelies across the parking lot on a customer's GSXR 600 that was in for a tire change until the old tire wore down to nothing and exploded.

When they got back, the CSB looked even more pie eyed than usual, and smelled of wine coolers and sour druggie sweat, and after stumbling the dogs through Weavepole Dave's weavepoles in front of the store a couple of times, she told the new Counter Cow who answers the phones to hold her calls, while she and Taco Dave went into the pass out room to discuss dog agility.

Freddie Fife called, and the Counter Cow told him the CSB was busy with a client. Then the Old Battleax called, and the new Counter Cow told her the same thing. When the Old Battleax called back and told the Counter Cow to get the CSB now, the Counter Cow walked in on the CSB throwing up on Taco Dave's lap while she was trying to give him a drunken blowjob, because she is still hot, and that's what hot girls do on the internet. She'd had a salad for lunch.

The CSB spent the rest of the afternoon screaming at the new Counter Cow that she was not to ever go into the office if the door was locked, or she would be fired. She told her not to tell anybody what she saw or why Taco Dave left the Lazy K with her pink State U. sweatshirt tied around his waist or she would be fired. The Counter Cow should be grateful to have a fucking job.

Then the CSB passed out in the back room with her dogs and their toys and the smell of vomit because the cleaning person doesn't come in until tomorrow.

Some people just can't keep their fucking mouths shut.