The CSB Screams at Mondo

Today the CSB had a fight with her mother about parking in her parent's driveway while they are away on vacation. So she was a general bitch to everyone who got in her way. Then she went around the store finding people to be a bitch to. She screamed at the Rhino about an ATV that was supposed to be there and wasn't, and called her mother a fucking bitch after hanging up the phone. She told the Rhino and Buddha, the finance manager, that she hopes her mother dies, then, about an hour later, after the meds kicked in, said to them that what she meant is that she hopes her mother dies before her father.

Mondo, one of the salespeople who works for the CSB, was sitting at the office computer, trying to find out if he was enrolled in the Polaris "earn a toaster by selling our crap" program. He realized the Rhino had already signed him up. He was in the process of thanking the Rhino when the CSB screamed for him to "shut the fuck up and get the fuck away from the computer," loud enough to be heard across the store, which is an old supermarket.

First published 10/3/06

The Rhino Loves Mr. Moose

The office manager is a giant illegal alien from Mexico we fondly refer to as the Rhino, instead of "the incredibly hideous creature of superhuman size and strength." She looks like a sasquatch, but with more bodyhair. After years of bad experiences with men, she decided to become a lesbian. Her new companion is Mr. Moose, a young woman with a bad flattop and cheap tatoos on both arms.

For a while Mr. Moose was working at the Dealership as a janitor, mannish sounding receptionist, and dog shit picker-upper (which is a full time job). Now she works at Walmart, but spends all her free time at the dealership, running out to get fast food to keep the Rhino sleek and shiney, and scratching the Rhino's thick hide. There is nothing more appealing than watching big women stuff themselves with Carls Jr. several times a day. The Rhino calls Mr. Moose "bunny" and Mr. Moose calls the Rhino "bear."

If you are a man and think it would be cool to watch lesbians make out, come in and watch the Rhino and Mr. Moose kiss behind the counter. Strong men lose their lunch and parents usher their kids out of the building.

First published on 10/3/06

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