Parts Department Beat Down

The CSB hired a New Toothless Guy to work in parts, and even though the New Toothless Parts Guy knows nothing about parts or personal hygiene and is always texting his friends, she wouldn't let the Tour Guide fire him.

Until today, we didn't know why.

Apparently, the New Toothless Parts Guy is dealing drugs out of the Lazy K. He texts the buyers, and they show up and leave with their "stuff."

We were busy for a change, and one of his clients came in. Scabfest was a scabby woman with scars on her scabs and scabs on her scars and open sores on her face. She was not a pretty sight. After waiting for what seemed to her an eternity (also known as 15 minutes) at the back of the line, Scabfest grew agitated and started wandering around the store, bumping into people, then pushing them out of the way, trying to get to the front of the parts counter. Scabfest told the New Toothless Parts Guy that she wanted her stuff. The New Toothless Parts Guy told her to come back later.

This wasn't what she wanted to hear, so Scabfest went outside and got her Ole Man, because she was being disrespected and nobody disrespects Scabfest like that when she's trying to conduct her busniess affairs. Her Ole Man came in and started shoving people out of line, telling them to get the fuck out of the way and shut the fuck up or he was going to kick someone's ass, yelling and reaching over the counter, demanding his stuff now, or there was going to be a real asskicking. Despite being dirty and creepy and causing a scene, he sported a rather nice mullet haircut.

Scabfest's Ole Man got in a confrontation with most of the other customers. The rest grabbed their kids and left. An ex-inmate of the Lazy K, who happened to be in there buying parts, grabbed hold of Scabfest's Ole Man by the neck and wrangled him down then dragged him, kicking and screaming that he is gonna kick someone's ass, out of the store and into the parking lot, where the ex-inmate beat the shit out of Scabfest's Ole Man until he stopped saying he was gonna kick someone's ass.

Star locked himself in the bathroom and called the police on his cellphone, the Buddha made several good trades for his fantasy football team, and three police cars rolled up with sirens blazing.

They took Scabfest and her Ole Man into custody.

They have been living in their car. It has no license plates. The windshield is cracked and all the other windows have been kicked or otherwise broken out. The police found their cell phone, read the text messages, and took the New Toothless Parts Guy and his cell phone into custody.

The whole incident took about four hours to unfold.

About an hour later, the CSB came out of her self induced coma in the back office and poked her head out into the showroom, hoping to see her shadow. When told what happened, the CSB said she'd lost her cellphone about a month ago, even though we saw her on it pleading with Freddie Fife to meet with her after dog agility class a couple of nights ago and telling Taco Dave to meet her later yesterday, and her purse just rang when I tried to call her.

I'm not Crazy, I'm the CSB

Freddie Fife may have mentioned inadvertently to the CSB that in his opinion she could benefit from psychiatric help. He then mentioned it several more times over the course of the last few weeks, pretty much constantly since the revelation hit him that his girlfriend is fucking nuts. Though he still likes to fuck the CSB, Freddie doesn't like to hang around before or afterward. And he's hiding the pain meds now.

We know this because the CSB told the Meal Ticket, who's nursing degree qualifies her to answer phones and keep an eye on Star while the CSB stumbles around the Lazy K trying to prove to the world that she is still hot, despite being a drugged out skank who has blown the toothless guy back in parts for a handful of vicodin.

Then the CSB got on the phone, to whomever she vents to when her life catches up with her, and said, "The fucker said I need psychiatric help. Who does the son of a bitch think he is. I took him to Hawaii. I need help? He needs help. That's who needs psychiatric help."

CSBees Knees

The CSB showed up limping at work. First she told someone it was because she fell in the bathroom. Then she told someone else she tripped over her fucking dog. Then she told someone else she had a bone marrow biopsy because she might have cancer. We've heard three different stories about why the CSB's hobbling around complaining about the pain. And she complained to everyone that her fucking new Doctor won't give her anything for the pain.

I wonder if the CSB is going to different specialists for different ailments, trying to score more pain pills.

What a clever plan. I bet the poodle told her it's a good idea. Too bad he hasn't advised her to stick an ax in her forehead. That would cure everyone's pain.