Weavepole Dave asked the CSB to dinner with him and his sister. This is the first time the CSB and the sister will meet. His sister is quite a bit younger than him. I believe she is 29. She is about the same height as the CSB only way better looking.
They went to Applebees for happy hour. The CSB and Sis really hit it off! Wow! thought Weavepole Dave, maybe she will marry me because she enjoys my family.
A few drinks later, Weavepole Dave has to break the seal. While he is in the bathroom, the CSB and Sis have their first kiss! When he returns, he sees the CSB's hand on his sisters thigh. But he doesn't think much of it.
After having way to many drinks, Weavepole Dave drives with one hand over his eye so the road is more clear. The three of them stagger in to Weavepole Dave's house. Then he makes his way to the couch and lays down to rest a minute. Of course he is passed out for the night.
The CSB takes Sis by the hand and leads her to her brother's room. Some heavy fondling and kissing goes on while standing next to his bed. Then Sis can't take it any more so she pushes the CSB down on the bed and proceds to rip off her clothes. They start to finger each other, then they 69 til they pass out.
The next morning Weavepole Dave is happy to see his sister in bed with the CSB.
And we don't know why he was happy, I thought he would have been extremely upset.
The Rhino Returns
So after the Rhino was gone for a few weeks with the gaping hole in her calf, and the CSB was making plans to replace her, we got a call that the Rhino would be making a brief appearance later that afternoon.
They showed up around three pm. Mr. Moose helped the Rhino out of the truck, and we watched as she hobbled with a granny walker into the Lazy K.
The Rhino spied a chair in the middle of the showroom and immediately sat down. She asked who wanted to see her hole, and without waiting for an answer, took off the bandage. The hole was huge, and the skin graft over the muscles looked like turkey skin stitched onto a basketball. Fortunately the Rhino chose to wear shorts short enough that we could see the big red rectangle on her big beefy thigh where the doctors had shaved the skin for the skin graft.
The Rhino showed off her hole to everyone who wandered past, employee and customer alike. All were treated to a detailed description of her life pretty much since the event happened. She was sitting in front of the ATVs, and relished telling potential customers how she'd had a stick go right through the plastic fender and into her leg. Few people wanted to look at ATVs after that.
Bandit the Border Collie ran over and started licking the wound. The Rhino encouraged this, while telling the CSB that she planned to come back in a very short while, and wanted to work from home in the meantime. The CSB said this sounded like a good idea, and after a short visit, the Rhino hobbled out to the truck and Mr. Moose drove her home.
"Working from home isn't going to work," said the CSB, as soon as the truck was out of the parking lot, "We need to find someone to replace the Rhino."
The Rhino's wound became infected again.
They showed up around three pm. Mr. Moose helped the Rhino out of the truck, and we watched as she hobbled with a granny walker into the Lazy K.
The Rhino spied a chair in the middle of the showroom and immediately sat down. She asked who wanted to see her hole, and without waiting for an answer, took off the bandage. The hole was huge, and the skin graft over the muscles looked like turkey skin stitched onto a basketball. Fortunately the Rhino chose to wear shorts short enough that we could see the big red rectangle on her big beefy thigh where the doctors had shaved the skin for the skin graft.
The Rhino showed off her hole to everyone who wandered past, employee and customer alike. All were treated to a detailed description of her life pretty much since the event happened. She was sitting in front of the ATVs, and relished telling potential customers how she'd had a stick go right through the plastic fender and into her leg. Few people wanted to look at ATVs after that.
Bandit the Border Collie ran over and started licking the wound. The Rhino encouraged this, while telling the CSB that she planned to come back in a very short while, and wanted to work from home in the meantime. The CSB said this sounded like a good idea, and after a short visit, the Rhino hobbled out to the truck and Mr. Moose drove her home.
"Working from home isn't going to work," said the CSB, as soon as the truck was out of the parking lot, "We need to find someone to replace the Rhino."
The Rhino's wound became infected again.
Evel Knievel
the CSB is gone on a nine day junket set up by one of the manufacturers, with the guy she met on Myspace five weeks ago who wants to marry her. It's Star's day off, and the parking lot has been plowed, so the snow is piled up around the Lazy K sign. The Lazy K sign is two 30 foot tall pillars set in a concrete box about three feet high. There is a gap of about 4 feet between the pillars.
The technicians and parts guys are bored, because nobody is coming in to buy stuff and the public at large is not bringing their bikes in to be serviced, so they are looking for something to do. Interdepartmental dog toy fights have become passe.
Snow begins to fall again.
All at once the parking lot is a blur of action and noise as the service technicians take turns racing a couple of customer owned quads in circles around the store, sliding sideways in the snow and in general having a good time.
The parts counter empties as the parts guys bundle up and run out for their turns on the quads.
Soon one of the guys from service goes back into the storage room and comes out with a 4x8 sheet of plywood. He builds a ramp and they began jumping the quads between the pillars of the Lazy K sign.
Star makes an unexpected appearance. Even though it is his day off, Star has no life, so he decides to wander by and see if Baby Hitler is up for a few games of Grand Theft Auto on the company bigscreen.
The employees begin to worry as Star takes it all in, then goes into the building.
"Are we going to get fired?" one asks.
The answer is no. For Star and Baby Hitler soon come racing out the side door on brand new Yamaha Raptor 700s. And man can those things jump.
The technicians and parts guys are bored, because nobody is coming in to buy stuff and the public at large is not bringing their bikes in to be serviced, so they are looking for something to do. Interdepartmental dog toy fights have become passe.
Snow begins to fall again.
All at once the parking lot is a blur of action and noise as the service technicians take turns racing a couple of customer owned quads in circles around the store, sliding sideways in the snow and in general having a good time.
The parts counter empties as the parts guys bundle up and run out for their turns on the quads.
Soon one of the guys from service goes back into the storage room and comes out with a 4x8 sheet of plywood. He builds a ramp and they began jumping the quads between the pillars of the Lazy K sign.
Star makes an unexpected appearance. Even though it is his day off, Star has no life, so he decides to wander by and see if Baby Hitler is up for a few games of Grand Theft Auto on the company bigscreen.
The employees begin to worry as Star takes it all in, then goes into the building.
"Are we going to get fired?" one asks.
The answer is no. For Star and Baby Hitler soon come racing out the side door on brand new Yamaha Raptor 700s. And man can those things jump.
The Record
The current record for convincing a new salesperson that he doesn't want to work at the Lazy K is about 45 minutes, and was set by Friar Tuck.
The Interview
We're always hiring at the Lazy K. All our print ads state this, it's on the website, and at the end of every ad we ever put on the radio it always states, "now hiring at all 5 Lazy K locations."
At every counter, and taped to the doors are giant signs that state we are now hiring in all departments.
For some reason, nobody wants to work at the Lazy K.
Despite our stellar reputation, people do sometimes apply, usually as a means of continuing some sort of government assistance. And it must come as a shock to them when we actually call them in for an interview.
The CSB interviews all the potential salespeople, and the interview includes the following statements:
"The average salesperson here makes between $60,000 and $90,000 a year."
"The job is easy."
"The hardest part is the hours."
and
"I will personally train you."
Never once is the experience or ability of the applicant inquired about. If the applicant doesn't say he doesn't want the job, he is asked to start the following day.
So what happens on the first, and often last, day at the new job?
The applicant shows up on time, watches the other salespeople appear and complain about the Lazy K, hangs around the front counter a while, then is told the CSB won't be in until the following day, and is asked to come in then and start.
On the following day, the applicant shows up a little later, and waits for the CSB. He is repeatedly told she is on her way in.
About noon, the CSB shows up with her dogs, minus makeup and with a crazed look in her eyes. Often she is covered with hickeys. She glares at the new hire, grabs a bunch of brochures off the rack, usually outdated ones featuring products we no longer carry, and hands them to him, telling him to go read them and she'll be with him later, unless he wants to come back tomorrow.
Then the CSB goes into the bathroom, puts on her makeup, and gets on Myspace.
At every counter, and taped to the doors are giant signs that state we are now hiring in all departments.
For some reason, nobody wants to work at the Lazy K.
Despite our stellar reputation, people do sometimes apply, usually as a means of continuing some sort of government assistance. And it must come as a shock to them when we actually call them in for an interview.
The CSB interviews all the potential salespeople, and the interview includes the following statements:
"The average salesperson here makes between $60,000 and $90,000 a year."
"The job is easy."
"The hardest part is the hours."
and
"I will personally train you."
Never once is the experience or ability of the applicant inquired about. If the applicant doesn't say he doesn't want the job, he is asked to start the following day.
So what happens on the first, and often last, day at the new job?
The applicant shows up on time, watches the other salespeople appear and complain about the Lazy K, hangs around the front counter a while, then is told the CSB won't be in until the following day, and is asked to come in then and start.
On the following day, the applicant shows up a little later, and waits for the CSB. He is repeatedly told she is on her way in.
About noon, the CSB shows up with her dogs, minus makeup and with a crazed look in her eyes. Often she is covered with hickeys. She glares at the new hire, grabs a bunch of brochures off the rack, usually outdated ones featuring products we no longer carry, and hands them to him, telling him to go read them and she'll be with him later, unless he wants to come back tomorrow.
Then the CSB goes into the bathroom, puts on her makeup, and gets on Myspace.
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