Feng Shui

The FSB (fat sneaky bitch, younger sister of the CSB) was supposed to meet the CSB early in the morning to take photos for the annual Christmas card. But the CSB had an appointment with her gynocologist which turned into an all day fishing expedition, so the FSB had nothing to do.

She began talking to her crystal. The FSB lifted it to her head like a cellphone and asked it what to do to make the world, or at least the Lazy K, a better place. The crystal told her it was up to the FSB to rearrange the desks in as idiotic a layout as humanly possible, and that it would guide her in this process.

Actually it told her to make the employees of the Lazy K move the desks. So she pulled the mechanics out of the service bay and the parts guys out from behind the parts counter and told them to obey the magic rock. They got to move the desks five times before the crystal was happy.

Six hours later, and no sign of the CSB, but one of the desks was back by the doors leading to the service department, another was back by the garage door leading outside, in the area where the dogs like to relieve themselves and customers never set foot. Neither location has a phone so the salespeople can make or take sales calls. And the crystal surrounded Star's desk with a chain link cage, to make him seem either more powerful, or incarcerated.

Paco must be pretty special. He got to touch the crystal. The crystal told the FSB that he's not only a good guy, but a hell of a desk mover. Paco could go far with the Lazy K, as long as he never pisses off the magic rock.

Here is the kind of anecdote one gets to hear at the Lazy K, usually over lunch:

Mr. Moose was drunk and got in the shower last nite with her socks on. She told The Rhino to get in with her. Then she told the Rhino to remove her socks, and when the Rhino's head was down by Mr. Moose's big flabby ass, Mr. Moose let loose with a big fat fart right in the Rhino's face.

The Rhino loves telling this story. It gives other people indigestion.