The weather has been downright freaky lately. Freakier than the thoughts that pass through Chicken Little's mind when he creeps past schoolyards in his blacked out van. A storm left the parking lot in front of Saint Manure covered with a layer of hail.
Giant Robot decided this would be a good surface to practice his drift racing skills.
He loaded himself up with medical marijuana, stuck his favorite song from "The Fast and the Furious 2" on his MP3 player, and started drifting back and forth across the parking lot, sliding on the ice.
Onto the ever expanding list of things Giant Robot does not do well can be added Drift Racing.
Somehow, the car got away from him and hit the one waverunner we wheel out on a stand every day. The Waverunner fell over and broke, to put it mildly, and Giant Robot hid his car in the Supermarket parking lot next to Saint Manure and then hid back in Shipping and Receiving.
Though everyone in Sales and Parts saw it happen, nobody thought to inform Chicken Little, nor to identify the culprit.
When Chicken Little saw the damaged Waverunner on it's side leaking oil onto the ice, he ran into his office, locked the door, and called Dickie the Douchebag.
All Dickie caught on tape was was the Waverunner falling into the frame and bouncing a couple times on the parking lot.
Chicken Little asked the employees one by one if they'd seen anything.
"There were two n... black guys in the parking lot a while ago," said Big Opie, sucking on a morphine lollipop, "They do things like this a lot. I'll bet it was cool to watch."
Dickie sent out a memo that parking the waverunner where his video cameras can't watch it is grounds for termination.
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