Gollum goes American Chopper Part Deux

The day after the Sucker bought his bike, Big Opie VIII and Comic Book Guy are outside, enjoying the sunlight and wondering aloud why every other dealer in the area gets more traffic than Saint Manure Motorsports (brains aren't a requisite to be hired here) when they hear an awful commotion coming up the street. It sounds like a moving traffic accident/jam. Horns honking, screeching brakes and somewhere, a motorcycle running like shit.

A few moments later they are amazed to see that Yamaha come back, with Sucker at the helm. He's still stalling every few yards and the bike sounds like an angry moped. Behind him is a long line of cars, honking and trying to get around him and almost hitting each other in their haste to get where they are going.

Sucker finally makes it into the parking lot, stalls the bike a final time beside Big Opie VIII and Comic Book Guy, pulls off his helmet and starts yelling about how terribly the bike is running. Now Big Opie VIII and CBG somehow manage to control their laughter and point Sucker around back to service. CBG decides to put out his cigarette (a rarity) and head around to see what's up. Turns out the bike is only running on 3 of 4 cylinders, and the used bikes are sold as is, with no warranty. He's been stopped by cops twice and told he has no brake or tail light.

The Whiner is hysterical by the time CBG gets back to Service. This bike would have been a gold mine for his department because it needs an easy 3k worth of work to make it even remotely safe to ride, let alone sell, but the deed was done on his day off. He starts whining at Comic Book Guy about the unconnected taillights but it's not Comic Book Guy's sale, so he just smiles and leaves in a cloud of Marlboro smoke after mentioning that Gollum was the one who ziptied the tail section off an old Honda to the back of the bike and couldn't hook up the lights.

TWO DAYS AND $500 LATER
and the bike is running on all four cylinders. Gollum is hiding from Sucker in Chicken Little's office, CBG and Big Opie VIII are once again outside enjoying the sunshine. Sucker mounts up, stalls twice on the way out of the parking lot, then hits the street. At which point the lack of rear end lighting comes into play. As CBG digs into his pack for another smoke he hears a horrendous crash and looks up in time to see Sucker flying through the air. He turns around to see Gollum looking out through a window with a small smile on his face. "If he lives through that, I can sell him a new bike."

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