Hillbilly Beat Down

Paco got his ass kicked by a girl.

Star decided to have a party to celebrate his Meal Ticket graduating from nursing school and being able to make payments on more crap he wants to buy and can't afford. He invited everyone from the Lazy K, and the Rhino and Paco both showed up. The Rhino brought Mr. Moose, her strapping hillbilly girlfriend, and Paco came in his leather fag pants and matching jacket.

Paco was talking to Mr. Moose and told him/her that he was not making very much money because of the blog, and he is sure the mole is the Rhino. He called her a fucking cunt.

This did not sit well with Mr. Moose, and she grabbed Paco and threw him to the ground. Mr. Moose was smacking the shit out of Paco, until Star and his boyfriend pulled her off. Paco tells everyone he was a kung fu champion, but apparently Drunk Hillbilly Opening Up a Can of Whoopass on You trumps Prancing Dragon Style.

Paco disgraced his dojo. In Japan, Kung Fu Master Paco would have disemboweled himself in shame. Fortunately, he couldn't find a knife among the sporks sharp enough to commit ritual suicide and burn an indelible mental picture in the minds of the other guests, including the Meal Ticket's family, who were wondering why a big mean bull dyke was beating the crap out of somebody who looked like he mistook the party for the audition site for the Village People movie.

Once on his feet, and safe from the menacing redneck, who was being restrained by Star and his ambiguously gay friend Brian, Paco told Mr. Moose that his pregnant wife could kick Mr. Moose's ass.

She must beat the shit out of Paco on a regular basis.

Star was in his usual after work alcohol fueled stupor, so he decided it would be a good idea to watch the drunk neighbor do donuts in the future in-law's lawn with his jacked up 4 by 4.

Ol' Wigger showed up with a cooler of frozen jello shots, and started throwing them at Star. Star caught several strawberry fastballs with his forehead, and then passed out at the table. The Meal Ticket decided she liked the way Ol' Wigger pitched, so they made out while Star was face down in the potato salad, and Paco told anyone who would listen how much he hates the Lazy K.

The CSB must have been horny, because she called Freddy Fife Dave.

18 comments:

Anonymous said...

I've read this whole thing and there is a story about Star fucking the CSB. That's GROSS not GAY!!

Apparently Crazy said...

ROFL - I swear, I NEEDED this entry today. Just the pickup I craved.

Wish I had some jello shots.

ADVRider Word Association said...

Anonymous said...

"I've read this whole thing and there is a story about Star fucking the CSB. That's GROSS not GAY!!"

Biplane, Bipolar, Bisection

I know I'm getting warm

Anonymous said...

It wasn't a big deal for Star he let big Gay Bryon do him in the morning.........

Anonymous said...

FYI Its my understanding the FSB has filed for a divorce from the homeless guy who she now realizes is a loser after reading the blog.

Anonymous said...

How can anybody make any money working in a junk pile such as this.I give them one more season and thier done.White Castles is always hiring.

Anonymous said...

Star catches a whole lot better on his knees with his mouth wide open.

Anonymous said...

yeah and white castle is has better benefits, if star is gay which i think he is i would be more than happy to take the meal ticket she is fuckin hot, i think the only reason she is with star is so she will have someone to try on clothes she thinks would look good on her

Guardian said...

To the Author:

They won't sue you for money; as you said, they'd get nothing. They'll sue you to order the blog stopped, and sue blogspot for $100 Million dollars for damages.

If you play your cards right, you could get the case thrown up into federal court (costing the Lazy K hundreds of thousands in legal fees). I have some suggestions.

GuardianAngel81@gmail.com

Anonymous said...

Sueing is someting they know nothing about.



It's being sued that thier good at!
all ya gotta do is ask them.

Anonymous said...

Silly bloggers. What do you know about court? Besides getting picked-up for the occasional "slap your girlfriend crime" and DUI.

You are talking about Grove Tucky, not Manhattan. Funny Stuff!

Anonymous said...

F.U. lazy k. you totally deserve this after all the people you screwed over, over the years. its all true folks and then some.

ex-prisoner

doug said...

Maybe we can have more ex-prisoners tell us their Lazy K stories. Man, I love this blog!

Anonymous said...

OH YES! JUST STAY TUNED EVERYONE. THE SHOW IS JUST BEGINNING.

doug said...

Their website says "VISIT OUR 3 LOCATIONS & SAVE!" It ought to say "Please buy something and save our ass!"

Anonymous said...

I would say the comment in all caps was the CSB.You stupied cunt you thought you were fucking everyone else with your games..you lose, take your skank ass back to rehab...

Anonymous said...

yes i am and ex prisoner of the lazyK any of you x cons remeber when the CSB came in to the lazyK and she was so fuckedup that she was staggering arround and her eyes were rolling in the back of her head when she would talk to you and M Caston had to make her leave!!!! and star fucked her gross shes old enough to be his momma she about 60 or so ya know

Anonymous said...

I'm a friend of a ex prisoner of the Lazy K. I went to pick up my friend an the CSB was so pilled up that she was about ready to pass out and bounce her head off the table.We propped her up with a binder under her chin on the desk an left her.When my friend returned the next day CSB acted like nothing had happend or she just really couldn't remember.