Paid Friends

Star is one of the salespeople at the Lazy K. He has a girlfriend. For a while, between Ellie May and Tits Ahoy, the Lazy K couldn't find anyone to work for a mere pittance. So Star talked his girlfriend, a nursing student that makes you terrified of getting sick and having to go to the hospital, into being the receptionist. She found answering phones and transfering calls a little easier than running catheters up old withered pricks.

We hired her as Ellie May was leaving, and had to give Ellie May a 50 cent raise so she would be making the same amount as someone young and cute with no experience was going to start at.

The CSB liked the new receptionist. For some reason, many of the customers and perverts who lurk at the Lazy K thought she might be the CSB's daughter. And she adores the CSB. She got her hair highlighted like the CSBs and even went out and paid too much at Petland for a small dog, like the CSBs. The little dog died four days later, leaving Star's girlfriend $3600 in debt and having to prove to Petland she didn't kill the dog. An autopsy was called for and the CSB, between bouts of cruising for molesters on myspace, sent an email to her fellow little dog fanatics calling for a boycott of Petland until they gave Star's girlfriend a new dog. She called Petland four times from the Lazy K and told the person on the other end of the phone to go fuck herself when they were not forthcoming with another puppy.

But alas, all good things must come to an end. Nursing school started, and Star's girlfriend had to return to the world of catheters and colostomy bags.

The CSB was crestfallen. She had a friend, a daughter almost, someone who liked highlights and small dogs and making them do dumb things. So she did the only thing she could think of. She told Star's girlfriend that she could stay on the payroll and clock in and they could just talk and hang out, meanwhile Star's girlfriend would be getting paid to be her friend.

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1 comment:

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