The Interview

We're always hiring at the Lazy K. All our print ads state this, it's on the website, and at the end of every ad we ever put on the radio it always states, "now hiring at all 5 Lazy K locations."

At every counter, and taped to the doors are giant signs that state we are now hiring in all departments.

For some reason, nobody wants to work at the Lazy K.

Despite our stellar reputation, people do sometimes apply, usually as a means of continuing some sort of government assistance. And it must come as a shock to them when we actually call them in for an interview.

The CSB interviews all the potential salespeople, and the interview includes the following statements:

"The average salesperson here makes between $60,000 and $90,000 a year."

"The job is easy."

"The hardest part is the hours."


"I will personally train you."

Never once is the experience or ability of the applicant inquired about. If the applicant doesn't say he doesn't want the job, he is asked to start the following day.

So what happens on the first, and often last, day at the new job?

The applicant shows up on time, watches the other salespeople appear and complain about the Lazy K, hangs around the front counter a while, then is told the CSB won't be in until the following day, and is asked to come in then and start.

On the following day, the applicant shows up a little later, and waits for the CSB. He is repeatedly told she is on her way in.

About noon, the CSB shows up with her dogs, minus makeup and with a crazed look in her eyes. Often she is covered with hickeys. She glares at the new hire, grabs a bunch of brochures off the rack, usually outdated ones featuring products we no longer carry, and hands them to him, telling him to go read them and she'll be with him later, unless he wants to come back tomorrow.
Then the CSB goes into the bathroom, puts on her makeup, and gets on Myspace.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Id love to see the CSB's myspace profile.