Taco Dave and the Happy Pills

Over the winter, the CSB has become a fat old drugged out skank. Her skin is pale and dry, and she has blotchy red spots on her face. Her eyes are dead in her face, and she has the attention span of a rabbit. She seems to have a harder time reaching normal on the pills she takes, and has been hell to work for. Her theory that if you surround yourself with oxen and other large beasts of burden, you will seem hot by comparison, has not been working lately. The CSB is fat and old and repulsive, despite reading diet tips on the Internet all day, whereas before she was just a bitch, and hotter than all the other women of the Lazy K because they really do look like something you would hitch to a plow and beat with a stick to make it work. Jay, the lantern jaw spousal equivalent of Beans, describes the CSB over beers as downright scarey.

Fortunately for her, Freddy Fife of the State Highway Patrol doesn't notice. He's just happy to have a woman, because he's a big bipolar dork, and weird as shit and carries a gun. This is a guy who would ruin a 16 year old kids life for having a joint, and he's conveniently overlooking the fact that his skank steals all his pain killers.

Tits Ahoy brought in a book about the danger of long term opiate use, and left it around, then dusted off the cobwebs after a few weeks and told the CSB it was an interesting book. The Rhino has left her own AA Blue Book lying on the counter. The pages are turning yellow before our eyes.

When the CSB is out of Happy Pills, she is an absolute bitch.

Fortunately for us, Taco Dave came through.

The dogs were locked in the back office while the CSB was out at her Doctor's, the one who she is trying to convince she is really in a lot of pain and needs the percs. Suddenly, they started barking and chewing on their squeaky toys. Mondo decided to go into the office and kick the shit out of them until they shut up. He opened the door and found Taco Dave and his faggy little Jack Russell sitting on the dog bed. Taco Dave was happy to see Mondo, and happy to see everyone who works at the Lazy K. He had on a happy face, and his eyes were glazed and shiny in his happy little Mexican head.

The CSB returned and took Taco Dave with her to the bank. Somehow she too got happy on the ride to and from the bank. It was a happy day for the CSB and Taco Dave.

Then she had the Rhino do a mapquest of Freddy Fife's house, so she could find it. She's been practically living there for months, but forgot where it is.

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