Paco's Amigos

Paco sold Harleys for 5 years, and so knows just about everyone who every wanted one. From time to time they come into the dealership, and Paco jumps right up, scampers over and shakes their hands. Then he tries to sell them something.

He was working with one guy, who is part of the Saturday free donut club over at the Harley store, where buying a bike entitles you to a lifetime of free donuts and a place to bullshit with other 2 percenters (the motorcycle riding equivalent of lowfat milk) once a week. This guy put more than $10,000 of chrome on a V-Rod and was upset because nobody but him thought that would increase the value of the V-Rod by at least $15,000. Everyone he tried to sell it to wanted to pay less than they could buy a brand new one for, because it was a couple years old and had been religiously ridden to every bike night in the area.

The free donut guy was complaining to Paco and the CSB because the last time he bothered us with his presence, Mondo was wearing a teeshirt that had the Harley wings and the inscription, "If they made an airplane, would you fly in it."

"I almost didn't come back, because as far as I'm concerned, if it's two wheels, it's right by me, bro" he said.

Mondo overheard this, and decided to turn his back on the free donut guy, so said idiot could read the shirt that says, "If they hired more engineers and fewer lawyers, they'd build a better motorcycle," also framed in orange Harley wings.

Even this wasn't enough to get the free donut guy to leave. He told Paco that he wanted to see all the starter bikes, because his son wanted to start riding, and putting a shitload of chrome on a Harley makes one an expert in motorcycles. About an hour and a half into the 'sale', the free donut guy informed Paco that his true intention was to come in and see all the different motorcycles, then buy one on ebay.

When the free donut guy finally left, in a wobbly roar of unmuffled pipes and frying valves, duckwalking his bike out the driveway, Paco waited until Mondo was with the CSB, then trotted over and told them that the free donut guy didn't like Mondo's teeshirts, and that it might be better to wear something else. Paco likes to make comments like this in front of the CSB, as a way of saying, "we could be a lot more professional if we didn't do things to intentionally antagonize the customers, like Mondo does."

"I wonder what it will take to keep him from coming back," said the CSB,

"Tell him to bring donuts next time," said Mondo.

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