Doggie Beatdown

The CSB has been stumbling around a lot lately, on the rare day she shows up for work. When she gets to work, she has a lot of trouble coming through the double doors with both dogs barking and yapping on leashes and her 5 gallon low carb lunch bucket tucked under one arm.

This morning she tripped over Bandit, and fell on her ass.

The CSB got up, set her lunch on Paco's desk, turned the Poodle loose and dragged Bandit, dangling on her back legs, by the leash into the passout room.

There was a thud as something heavy hit a wall, then Bandit started to yelp. There was another couple of thuds, and more yelping.

Oblivious to the imaginary pain in her knee, whichever one it was, the CSB was kicking Bandit and screaming at the fucking dog to stay the fuck out of her way. She didn't want to hit Bandit with her fists, because if she does, Bandit will shy away when the CSB uses hand signals to get her to do dog agility.

Meanwhile, Friar Tuck had a loser come in and try to buy a Suzuki Bergman 400. The scooter retails for $5799, but the guy's credit was so bad he couldn't finance extra cheese on a pizza. So the loser dragged his 84 year old grandmother in, and she got approved for $12,000. After adding lots of freight, prep, and a $250 documentation fee, the scooter came to $11,997 out the door. But Gramma did get a free helmet.

Then we fed Bandit a couple soft tacos from Taco Bell somebody bought last Saturday, and she took a nice big crap back by the waverunners.

12 comments:

kissmyask said...

poor little doggie.....

Anonymous said...

The grandmother story is the one that's going to get national attention. Also, doesn't the neighborhood believe in hillbilly justice? I'd unwind that deal today.

Sister Dick said...

kissmyask, email us your contact info, so we can talk

kissmyask said...

kissmyaskask@aol.com

Anonymous said...

Jesus, what a fucking Cunt....

Anonymous said...

I want to make a comment,but I'm speechless...............Somebody smack the bitch!

Apparently Crazy said...

Sheesh - someone needs to call the ASPCA!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Don't you think it funny that Honda pay's to have advertising on this Blog!

Anonymous said...

I am an inmate at Lazyk's. I was present and/ or know about a couple of these episodes. Some are dead on and some are off a little. The shit is funny as hell. The FSB is just as crazy as the CSB, minus the drugs.

Anonymous said...

all lies from chicken shit a-hole who are scared to confront me in person........

Anonymous said...

my dog live better than any of these broke ass losers. I could buy and sell every one of them. can you say JEALOUS......snicker ya'll wish you were me...but sucks to be you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

oh your so rich living in that cheap ass 140,000 shack on the west side of Columbus driving around in a peice of shit truck.Get real you have no fucking money of your own.You and your fat ass sister are waiting for your parents to give you that dealership even at that you'll be lucky to make any money.