Money Saving Ideas

At a time when everything seems to be going up, it's nice to see that something is going down. No, I'm not talking about the CSB after a long lunch with the cute new radio rep. I'm talking about the new pay program.

In the last year, the GOB, or Greedy Old Bitch, formerly the Old Battleax, has implemented several key changes to turn this company around. All of them involve taking back, mostly from the employees or the customers

Let's take a nostalgic look back, shall we?

The first thing to go was a decent healthcare plan. In the last year, it has been changed three times. Each time, it has covered less and cost more, until it cost the Buddha $800 a month for health insurance.

The second thing to go was a third week of paid vacation for the six inmates who have stuck it out for more than 5 years at the Lazy K. This must have saved the Lazy K a small fortune.

The CSB and the GOB got together and decided to raise the doc fee, what we charge for a $8 an hour employee to prepare the customer's paperwork, to $250, even though every other shop around charges about $100. So we lost a few dozen sales a month. But the Lazy K was able to save $27 in commissions on the sales we did make.

There is a charge, called a Pack, that the Lazy K pads the invoice figures with, so commissions are paid on all profit left after the pack. The GOB decided to increase the pack to $395, hoping nobody would notice. This saved up to $30 in commissions per unit, and even more when a lot of the better salespeople quit.

You would think that with all this clever cost cutting, and the $5 minimum commission we've paid since the CSB was getting radio rep's pubes stuck in her braces, the Lazy K would be swimming in money. All the other dealers in the area are doing very well.

But we're not.

So the GOB has decided to cut what's left of the commissions in half. Effective with all new hires, the Lazy K pays 8% instead of 15% and Star is going to close all the sales. He got a big book that tells him how. Star was going to let Mondo read the book, but it costs $20, and that seems like a lot for a book to Star, so he's going to make a photocopy.

Part of the plan was for Paco to close sales too, but he quit.

All the current salespeople will stay on the old pay program, and the new ones will be fucked over by the new one. Should make for an interesting workplace.

15 comments:

Anonymous said...

Defining and describing greed.
Roman Catholicism identified as one of seven "deadly sins"
Listed in the Bible with the gravest of sins
Greed is idolatry

Anonymous said...

You still selling t-shirts?

Anonymous said...

i will sell one of mine where do you live

Anonymous said...

I used mine to wipe my ass with or I would sell mine!!!

Anonymous said...

Star fucking sucks do you really think he is going to be able to close anything for a profit...well he did close his meal ticket on the idea that he wasn't bi-sexual..

Anonymous said...

Good thing they still got the NINJI but he soon will get tired of the bullshit the season(the end)is coming to a close...

Anonymous said...

I don't know I heard Ol wigger was gettig Star's job if he doesn't start doing something...

Anonymous said...

That picture of star on craigslist is fucking funny..I'm Not Gay I swear!!!!!

Anonymous said...

He said he was passed out and somebody at the party stuck there dick in his face.

artimus said...

It was my dick and he loved it!!!!

kissmyask said...

This Blog is great. I am sad to say that I work at one of the Lazyk's other stores. I am trying to catch up here who is Star and FSB and does Rich have a name? would love storys and comments from the other 2 stores. Maybe someone can help out i sure know i could, IT'S A MADHOUSE THERE !

kissmyask said...

And whats up with the dogs? The ones i have seen look like mutts! they do piss and shit on the floors at the east store i have seen it first hand............

Anonymous said...

Star is not bisexual. He only fucks women to get stuff from them.

Anonymous said...

What picture of STAR? Which craigslist?

Anonymous said...

Brooky's nogood!