Yes, We Have No Bikes

We're out of bikes. That might sound like a good thing, if you thought it meant that we have been selling a lot of them. Maybe business has been so good here at the Lazy K that we sold them all.

"We need some more C50s and Vulcan 900s," said Paco to the CSB, "I'll sell every one you get me."

"It's not your place to tell me how to do my fucking job," she replied, "I know how to order bikes, don't I, Mr. Poodle? Mr. Poodle says I do. And he's in charge of ordering bikes, so blame the Pood if you want to blame somebody."

"I've ordered the same bikes every day for a week," said Star, "They are just really backed up at the Mother Ship."

And we looked in the computer, and indeed, there are still bikes to sell. They are all in crates. Lots of them. Old Crusty called us and told us to stop ordering bikes or he won't send us any. Then he asked if anyone had traded in a Bultaco recently, because he wants one for his collection. Old Crusty is not making a lot of sense these days.

So why aren't bikes leaving the Mother Ship, from whence the nasty spawn that runs the Lazy K's emanated?

"There's nobody in setup," said the Rhino, "They've all quit or been fired. And the Runner (the hobbit who brings us the bikes and shows off his new tattoos and scabs) decided to take a couple days off to go to someone's birthday party."

"What idiot would fire all the setup people in the middle of the season?"

Fearless Leader is back in charge, and things are going to be done his way at the Mother Ship, even if he can't hire anyone willing to listen to him and do things right, like they do in State Prison. Unfortunately, in an economy where people at McDonalds make $9 an hour, and illegal aliens make $12 doing construction, even people who think it is really cool to work around bikes don't want to work around bikes and listen to the mindless babble of an assdiot for $7 after they prove themselves a hard worker by sweeping the floor for minimum wage until the next person in Service quits.

Not knowing any better, a lot of new grads from the various Motorcycle Mechanic schools take jobs at the Lazy K, and Fearless Leader likes to spend at least an hour and a half every day telling them that they don't know anything, and they wasted their time and parent's money going to the school, it don't teach you nothing that you can't learn from getting a job at the Lazy K and learning from Fearless Leader, if you're willing to pay your dues and do what it takes to get a job in the Motorcycle industry. Fearless Leader leaves out the part of the story where he returns to the Lazy K because he can't make it on his own as a mechanic, despite telling everyone he could make a lot more money turning wrenches in his garage than he was making as the General Manager and CSBabysitter at the Lazy K before the CSB started fucking Star and decided he was better qualified to run the place.

So we have no bikes. But Fearless Leader is somehow able to explain to Old Crusty that it is not his fault, any more than it was his fault that he drove the customer's quad into the side of the Mother Ship while he was out trying to find Old Crusty a brand new Bultaco and taking a pot break in the field next door.

People just don't want to work anymore.

21 comments:

ex- conn said...

Poor Fearless leader he doesnt have a clue! I wonder if he still hangs out with his Flat track racicng buddies? May be he can get mr S. Stump to come and put bikes togeather. When i was an inmate at the Lazy K Mr. Stump was in town for a race and the Fearless leader told me he thought i was hot and mabey i should fuck him so he would put a Lazy K sticker on his bike sorry Fearless leader he was not hot and im not a hore like your mommma!!! May be you should of had the CSB Fuck Him

Anonymous said...

I love smoking pot!!!

Anonymous said...

what a nice place to work...first they beg him to come work in GC to keep A eye on the CSB. He quit after what like 15 years with the company..comes begging for his job back only to recieve a pay cut and lose all of his vacation time..what a smart dude..I guess he was used to getting fucked in the butt...

Anonymous said...

I wanna work for the LazyK!

Anonymous said...

went into lazyk east yesterday and all the lights we're turned off and it was like 90 fucking degrees in there...the must be having a problem paying the electric bill...

Sheriff Griffin said...

Anonymous said...
"Wow! this blog was obviously created to take out this business. I don't think that will happen. If you hate your job, QUIT! Mutinty amongst people you can't stand working with is just sheer ignorance. It's America! You can get a new job! The reality is, the blog is dying. With everyone quitting, it's going to be hard to find new material. That's sad... for the blogger."

The Madbloggah goes undercover. Clevah!!!

Anonymous said...

you cant call it mutiny, (not mutinty, minus 2 for spelling), when your writing the truth. that place is so messed up, people should know whats going on. been there done that.

doug said...

What's the CSB been doing lately?

Anonymous said...

PASSED OUT WITH A COCK IN MY MOUTH

Anonymous said...

The east store has ac units on the roof and two of them work...if you put a garden hose on them to cool them. also they are to cheap to buy light bulbs. what the fuck just close down and let the real bike shops take care of the consumers of the greater Columbus area!

Anonymous said...

I was at that new shop on Morse it was really nice...

Anonymous said...

The great store of the east. Well every body knows the crazy fat BITCH that most likely has spit on you a time or two. Well one of her favorite under 10,000. dollar busa customer's was in this particular day. Well her homeless husband which is the manager was out this day.
So i was closing a deal and had to find the spitting BITCH of the east. Well after about twenty mins of searching the shit hole and could not find her so the last resort was the break room i walked around the courner and she was getting CRUMPED with CRUMP they where locked and loaded. Yeah that place is truely a fucking joke so come to the grater COLUMBUS area to get your MOTORSPORTS.

Anonymous said...

I hear Starr had to trade his bike in for a VTX1300.Her new Boyfriend likes it better...

Anonymous said...

I do,I do

Madbloggah said...

Sorry that comment wasn't mine. It was well written tho. I must say that the person seems to actually have a grasp on reality as do most productive persons in our society.

Anonymous said...

Final Blog entry because they are going out of business...stick to what you know taking pills and getting pumped...leave it to the real shop's in town...

Anonymous said...

any ex-cons that would like to assist in seeing the Lazy K go down? contact Melissa Wright at 800-282-0515

Anonymous said...

The new shop on Morse is really nice, but you are going to get raped if you actually buy a bike from them. They use that really clean, flashy showroom to wow you to take your mind off price, then fuck you and you don't even realize it.

Anonymous said...

If they are out of bikes that must mean that they are selling the hell out of them.

Anonymous said...

per the Better Business Bureau

-Ohio Attorney General's Office Consumer Protection Section at 614-466-8831 or 800-282-0515.

- Franklin County Common Pleas Court Civil Division Clerk of Courts at 614-462-3621 concerning case 06CVH-5-6442.

6/22/2007 9:14 PM

Anonymous said...

Come work at ASK. The place where being a Herpes infested tech will get you a raise...