The Letter

For this entry to make any sense, you have to keep in mind that the AKC name of The Poodle is Harrisburg Loredo Mister Mercury.

This is an actual letter intercepted by the Rhino, copied and then passed around to all the sales people, so they could have a laugh.

Dear Manager,

About 5 years ago, I was in the market for a motorcycle and bought it at Skank Powersports, because they gave me a better price. But because I live close to the Lazy K, I decided to give you guys first shot at selling me one. Even thouth I have a new truck, I drove over in my classic full size Pontiac station wagon. It needs a little paint, but runs like brand new. The salespersons watched me get out and go into the Lazy K, and didn´t say anything or greet me. After a while, the big one followed me around, but didn´t say anything. I told the salesperson I want to buy a motorcycle and he asked me about my credit. I told him it was probably pretty good, because I just got my bankrupcy discharged and have no debts. He told me I would need a co-signer. I told him my credit has to be good enough to buy a motorcycle because I just bought a 1999 Ford Pickup on payments, and it is twice as much as the GSXR600 I want. I expected him to say lets go for it and give it a try, and he just told me I definitely need a co-signer and asked me do I know anyone who knows how to pay their bills on time. I told him I will be back, and left. As I was going out, the other salesperson said my car would be good for a demolision derby. I will not buy a motorcycle from you. I just want you to know how your company treets customers

Rick Sanderson

A little while later, when the CSB was good and toasted in the back room, the Rhino was at home having her beef drapes manhandled by a latex AFFLAK duck handpuppet wielded by Mr. Moose, and Star was at home playing with his Wii with the latently homosexual cousin of his dumb as a brick girlfriend, Friar Tuck got on the company computer and replied.

Dear Prick, I mean Rick,

Thank you for your letter. We at the Lazy K take these letters very seriously, especially when they come from Credit Criminals who don´t qualify to finance extra cheese on a pizza. I should bill you for the oxygen you wasted here at the Lazy K, but you wouldn´t pay that bill either. And you told the salesperson you will be back, and had no intention of doing so? Do you habitually lie when conducting business? Call me when you win the lottery.

Sincerely,

Mr. Mercury, the complaint manager

PS. I´ll give you $50 for the Pontiac.

We spent the rest of the day waiting for the Pontiac to come flying through the plate glass into the showroom, driven by an angry hillbilly bent on kicking The Poodle´s ass.

But it never happened.