The Call

Friar Tuck just happened to pick up the phone. The person on the other end asked to speak to Mr. Mercury. He sounded upset. Friar Tuck told him to hold on, then went to the other salespeople and told them the deadbeat that sent us the letter was on the phone and wanted to speak to the Poodle.

The CSB was off having her 3 hour lunch with the radio rep she buys all the time from, even though the station doesn´t attract our demographic, because he´s young, attractive and brings her dogs treats then plays on myspace with her for a couple hours, and we haven´t seen Star since he and the ambiguously gay cousin of his dumb as a bag of hammers girlfriend started playing the new wrestling game together on his Wii, so Friar Tuck paged the Rhino.

¨Rhino, there´s a manager call on line 4,¨and we all picked up extensions and listened in.

¨This is the Rhino, how can I help you?¨

¨I want to speak to Mr. Mercury.¨

¨May I ask what this is regarding?¨the Rhino literally pulled the phone back from her head and looked at the handset.

¨Tell that son of a bitch that I went up to Skank Motors and they said that if I reestablish my credit, I can buy a motorcycle on my own, without a cosigner, in a couple of years. So that´s what I´m going to do.¨

¨Hold on. Are you interested in parts, service or sales?¨

¨I was going to buy a motorcycle from you guys. But I´m going to take my business to Skank Powersports instead.¨

So the Rhino put him on hold and paged sales. Paco, who was out of the loop, and hungry for business since his wife is about to have another litter, raced to the phone and answered. He listened to the guy for a while, told him that Mr. Mercury doesn´t work here anymore, and then took a credit application.

Surprise, the guy got turned down. Paco had to call him back to relay the bad news. Friar Tuck asked Paco to see if the guy still had the demolition derby car for sale.

The deadbeat started going ballistic, and Paco had no idea why. As he was trying to calm the credit criminal down, the CSB walked by and heard him mention Mr. Mercury again. She pushed the button to put the guy on hold and asked Paco what the call was about, figuring it might be about dog agility.

¨This guy is upset because he got turned down and he wants to know who Mr. Mercury is, so he can kick his ass.¨

The CSB picked up the phone, ¨This is the CSB, how can I help you?¨

She listened for a while, then told the guy that if he came near her dogs she would cut his balls off and stuff them in his mouth.

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