Smokin'

Winch promotions are common. You buy an ATV and get a winch for free. Then you figure out how to put it on. Or you have us do it.

Because most of the service department has quit or been fired after being written up by Star, we are a little short handed. One of those rare geniuses who thinks he keeps us in business by buying three quads over twelve years for just about cost then buying all his parts and accessories on the internet decided to have us put on the free winch. He tried to get us to do it for free, but ended up paying about $100 for what should be an hour and a half of labor. Unfortunately, he was under a time constraint, because his buddies wanted to go muddin' last weekend, which basically means take the brand new ATV out into the woods and see if you can destroy it in an afternoon by repeatedly burying it in mud, so he couldn't wait the three weeks Baby Hitler initially told him it would take for us to get around to doing the job for a hundred bucks.

The only guy available to do the job was the new guy we hired to sweep the floors and polish the bikes. He wants to be a mechanic, and what better way to learn than to install Mr. Tightass's winch.

About two and a half hours into the job, the new guy goes back to the parts department and talks to Baby Hitler. They go out to service, then call the CSB back. Paco is curious, so he wanders back too. All the plastic is off the ATV, as are the wheels, and it is on blocks. But the winch is mounted where it should be. Paco and Baby Hitler help the new guy put the ATV back together, and Mr. Tightass comes to get his quad.

Monday morning, Mr. Tightass shows up at the Lazy K extremely pissed off, with the burned out carcass of his ATV in the back of his pickup. He went muddin' with his dumbass friends, they got stuck, and when he tried to winch them out, the ATV caught on fire. And plastic burns pretty fast and well, especially when the gas tank is full. And tires burn pretty good too. For some strange reason, Mr. Tightass thinks we had something to do with his ATV burning to the ground, and wants us to replace it. It really is amazing to look at in the back of his pickup, and it is very easy to understand why he is so pissed off.

Star explains that he's the manager, and that the winch worked fine at the shop, and that now that he's manager he's decided to be an asshole to customers who don't pay retail, so there is nothing we will do to help Mr. Tightass. We are of course watching this with amusement, hoping Star enrages the hilljack enough so he punches Star out, but no such luck. Mr. Tightass throws one of those "I'm never coming here again," fits, and then demands to speak to the CSB, saying "I only deal with the CSB."

"The CSB is not here right now, and I'm the manager, and I'm telling you we're not going to give you a new quad for free. If you want to take this up with the manufacturer, you can leave your quad here, and I'll give them a call this afternoon. They'll send someone out to look at it."

Unfortunately, because the free winch is always on backorder, the customer's warranty expired a week before he got his free winch, so the manufacturer won't do anything either. We know that, but Mr. Tightass doesn't.

Then Mr. Tightass tells Star he's not going to pay for the quad anymore.

"That's between you and the lender. If you want that on your credit, that's your decision."

"Have the CSB give me a call," says Mr. Tightass, "I'll just deal with her," and literally burns rubber leaving the parking lot.

After confering with the New Guy, Star learns he didn't actually test the winch before giving the quad back to the customer, and may have ziptied the wires to the exhaust header, he's just not sure what an exhaust header is.