Parts Department Beat Down

The CSB hired a New Toothless Guy to work in parts, and even though the New Toothless Parts Guy knows nothing about parts or personal hygiene and is always texting his friends, she wouldn't let the Tour Guide fire him.

Until today, we didn't know why.

Apparently, the New Toothless Parts Guy is dealing drugs out of the Lazy K. He texts the buyers, and they show up and leave with their "stuff."

We were busy for a change, and one of his clients came in. Scabfest was a scabby woman with scars on her scabs and scabs on her scars and open sores on her face. She was not a pretty sight. After waiting for what seemed to her an eternity (also known as 15 minutes) at the back of the line, Scabfest grew agitated and started wandering around the store, bumping into people, then pushing them out of the way, trying to get to the front of the parts counter. Scabfest told the New Toothless Parts Guy that she wanted her stuff. The New Toothless Parts Guy told her to come back later.

This wasn't what she wanted to hear, so Scabfest went outside and got her Ole Man, because she was being disrespected and nobody disrespects Scabfest like that when she's trying to conduct her busniess affairs. Her Ole Man came in and started shoving people out of line, telling them to get the fuck out of the way and shut the fuck up or he was going to kick someone's ass, yelling and reaching over the counter, demanding his stuff now, or there was going to be a real asskicking. Despite being dirty and creepy and causing a scene, he sported a rather nice mullet haircut.

Scabfest's Ole Man got in a confrontation with most of the other customers. The rest grabbed their kids and left. An ex-inmate of the Lazy K, who happened to be in there buying parts, grabbed hold of Scabfest's Ole Man by the neck and wrangled him down then dragged him, kicking and screaming that he is gonna kick someone's ass, out of the store and into the parking lot, where the ex-inmate beat the shit out of Scabfest's Ole Man until he stopped saying he was gonna kick someone's ass.

Star locked himself in the bathroom and called the police on his cellphone, the Buddha made several good trades for his fantasy football team, and three police cars rolled up with sirens blazing.

They took Scabfest and her Ole Man into custody.

They have been living in their car. It has no license plates. The windshield is cracked and all the other windows have been kicked or otherwise broken out. The police found their cell phone, read the text messages, and took the New Toothless Parts Guy and his cell phone into custody.

The whole incident took about four hours to unfold.

About an hour later, the CSB came out of her self induced coma in the back office and poked her head out into the showroom, hoping to see her shadow. When told what happened, the CSB said she'd lost her cellphone about a month ago, even though we saw her on it pleading with Freddie Fife to meet with her after dog agility class a couple of nights ago and telling Taco Dave to meet her later yesterday, and her purse just rang when I tried to call her.


Anonymous said...

She's still messing around with Taco Dave? I thought he got married.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...
"She's still messing around with Taco Dave? I thought he got married."

And they are such a fine upstanding pair of christian folk.

Anonymous said...

No he got deported.

Anonymous said...

no, he went to jail for drug traffic and abuse