Someone's Getting Fired Today


From the time she staggered in early this afternoon, the CSB has been wandering the store saying, "someone's getting fired today."

The CSB doesn't know who to accuse of leaking the information about Freddie Fife finally deciding to dump her crazy ass to the world, so she's blaming everyone.

First, the CSB and Star cornered the Buddha at the computer where he sits and plays fantasy football now that there is a new Finance Manager, Juan Capistrano. The first person to apply for the Buddha's job got it, but instead of firing the Buddha, he has been relegated to sitting at the computer evaluating tight ends.

The Buddha denied having anything to do with spreading the bad news, even when Star asked if he'd be willing to submit to a polygraph. So they went on down the list of suspects.

Paco is safe, because the CSB thinks he's as loyal as one of her dogs, and that's how she treats him. So Star and the CSB decided to interrogate Mondo in the back room. Mondo denied saying anything, and is the best salesman, so Star told him not to, if he was.

With her shoulder hunched up and newfound limp that changes legs, the CSB resembled a cartoon hunchback as she stumbled around the showroom with her little dogs in tow repeating the clever phrase, "Someone's getting fired today."

Customers found this oddly amusing. Several laughed when she tripped over Bandit. It was distracting to the employees as they went around trying to do their jobs, especially the way the CSB tried to stare us down while her eyes rolled around in her head, hoping the crazed look would make someone break down and confess so he or she could be fired today.

She wandered back to parts and said someone is getting fired today, then accused the guys in the parts department of spreading the word. They denied it, so the CSB wandered back to service and threatened to fire everyone there too.

For some reason, idiots think it's cute to let their kids call the Lazy K and ask for the best price on something. Mondo got one of those calls, and told the kid he could have a brand new $5499 Honda CRF150 for $1999, if he came in and made sure to ask for Friar Tuck. Sure enough, the idiot got in his jacked up pickup truck and drove his brat a hundred miles to the Lazy K, and asked for Friar Tuck then called him a fucking liar when Friar Tuck said he never spoke to Idiot Jr. and wasn't going to sell him a $5499 Honda for $1999. The idiot then said he knows the CSB and wants to speak to her.

The CSB listened to the idiot, told him someone's getting fired today, then drifted out of the conversation and got on the phone to tell the Old Battleax that all these motherfucking liars are denying they said anything as soon as the idiot asked for the Lazy K to pay for his gas.

The idiot stormed out, turned around, came back and slammed the door, drove around the parking lot once and stopped in front of the Lazy K, honked his horn for a couple of minutes while he flipped us off screaming that Friar Tuck is a lying motherfucker and a motherfucking liar then burned rubber leaving the parking lot. He was pulled over half a block away and ticketed for not wearing a seatbelt.

The CSB made the Buddha leave the company computer just as he was selecting a quarterback so she could send these emails to the Rhino:

"If you are bucking for an invitation to our wedding...Forget it. WE DO NOT LIKE YOU. Never write Freddie again. Also you need a drivers license to get there so boo-hoo you are our of luck. Get a green card and a life while you are at it! Freddie loves me I love him sorry you can't get a man so you had become a lesbian. GOOD LUCK.......hahahahahahahahahah"

and,

"wassssssss a matter you e-mail my man. But scared of me huh?Life is so great now that you are gone."

Next, the CSB called Baby Hitler at the other Lazy K and accused him of spreading rumours that Freddie had dumped her. She told Baby Hitler she would get his ass fired if he did it again.

The CSB looked up from the computer and said, "someone's getting fired today."

Then the CSB passed out in the back room surrounded by her dogs and their toys and the Buddha got to select his quarterback.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahhahha ...oh hahahhahahahah man this cunt is out of control!!!

Anonymous said...

Okay okay, I admit it, it was me. You can fire me.

Anonymous said...

She needs to fire herself.

Anonymous said...

I like pictures :)

Anonymous said...

poor lonely, pathetic CSB spinning slowly toward the bottom.

doug said...

Doesn't sound like even her parents want to help her.