Riddler's Interview with Crusty

"I built this company on tits and ass. Who woulda known my hot tub is where my wife takes her baths. I told her she needed to lose weight. Now every time I turn around there's a dog show date. I went to one, it was like watching a person in a fat suit trying to run. I saw the dirt flying but she never went anywhere. I turned to my daughters for a prayer. "CSB, you gotta help me!" She said "OK, Can you loan me $80?" I said "NO!" She said "I'll just take it outta the drawer. Who gives a fuck?" My last chance. "FSB, can you please help me?" "I'm sorry. I broke my crystal and now I can't see. Plus, I been down. The sun said I needed to wear a frown. Can you talk to me in July? The stars say I'm supposed to be emotionally up. If not, I just visit the CSB and get high." That's when I realized "What have my stores come to be?" I have a fat wife that is breaking shocks on a motorcycle that she's riding to be free, a daughter who paints her eyes black down to her cheekbones to cover up the pill problem or buying drugs on the computer or giving out her credit card on the phone to anyone claiming to be calling from a pharmacy. I gotta another daughter who met an indian that took her to see a vision. She came back calling herself Two Dogs Fucking but she was on a "spiritual mission." Am I really that bad of a guy? Oh fuck it! Join the family! Get fat and get high!

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

This is retarded......

Anonymous said...

Humorous but still retarded. You got better in ya big fella, I mean Mr, I mean Ms.

Anonymous said...

This looks like drunk blogging...

Anonymous said...

It sounds drunk cuz he is drunk. Have you ever met ol' crusty? How else do you think he deals with the crazy bitches he's surrounded by!? All the women in his life are addicted to something. Sex, dog shows, pills, weed, alcohol, crystals, computer dating, black men. Think about it. The poor guy spent his whole life building something out of tits and ass for it all to go sagging and down the shitter. You'd drink too!