The Old Man and the Gold Wing

The Old Man had a motorcycle when he was younger. He wanted another one and his wife finally died, so there was nobody to tell him no anymore. The Old Man finally saved enough money to buy his dream bike, a brand new cranberry red Gold Wing with surround sound and heated seats. After 30 years of looking at and admiring motorcycles, and wanting another one, he was finally ready to come in and buy his dream, an 850 lb. motorcycle with more horsepower than many small cars.

Friar Tuck was very patient with the old man, and took his time reminiscing about the good old days and telling the old man how much better his life would be when he had the Gold Wing. The Old Man finally bought his first bike since that stepthrough thing he couldn't remember the name of.

The day to pick up the Gold Wing came, and the Old Man showed up with his 15 year old grandson, who had never ridden on the back of a motorcycle, to take the proverbial first ride on the brand new bike.

After one of our surly technicians took ten minutes to explain to the Old Man how all the controls work, the Old Man eased one leg over the bike, and the kid hopped up behind him. The Old Man started the 'Wing and revved the cold motor a couple of times, because that's what you do with a motorcycle, you make noise.

The Old Man put the bike into gear and began his wobbly departure from the dealership. At this point the kid decided he wanted off. He stood up and tried to jump. The Old Man, unaccustomed to having his grandson try to jump off the back of an 850 lb. motorcycle he is riding for the first time, opened up the throttle, and the bike shot forward, then sideways, as it sideswiped three cars then broadsided a minivan.

The bike fell over and the Service Department came rushing over to pick up the bike and help the Old Man into the dealership, where he lay on his back bleeding out his nose and various lacerations on the floor of the service department customer lounge. The CSB ran out to make sure the old man had signed all the delivery papers.

"Did anyone ask if he knows how to ride a bike?" asked Baby Hitler.

"That's not their job," replied the CSB

The woman who was in the minivan came into the dealership, leaned over the old man, told him her neck hurt and asked to see his proof of insurance card.