Stirring the Maggots Nest

Big Jim Slade, former linebacker for the Kansas City Chiefs, worked at the Lazy K for a few years. He did well, and was one of their top salespeople. For this, the other inmates did all they could to make his life miserable. He made enough money so he could leave and spend winters in the South Pacific while Paco got his tongue stuck to a pole out in front of the Lazy K during an ice storm.

Finally Big Jim Slade had enough, so he put his resume on the internet and got a job offer from the competent dealership down the road. They treated Big Jim well, he made the owners a lot of money, and then another dealer called Big Jim and offered him a job managing a large dealership across the country. His compensation package was going to be about triple what the CSB makes every year, and about twice what Baby Hitler manages to steal from the Lazy K by charging parts to sold bikes.

The CSB had been calling Big Jim Slade on a regular basis since he left, asking if he wanted to come back and whether his doctor was still giving him painkillers. Star said that if Big Jim Slade ever came back, he'd punch him in the nose. The CSB just happened to call Big Jim the day after he got his really big job offer. He told her about it, so the CSB said she would match it. She sounded pretty out of it and kept asking him to repeat the terms of the offer while she wrote it down. Big Jim Slade said he'd fax over a copy of his offer.

Then Big Jim Slade waited.

A couple days later, Paco called and told Big Jim Slade that the CSB had taken off. Freddie Fife was qualifying at the shooting range and calling the Lazy K frantically looking for her between rounds. The CSB knew Freddie couldn't get away to stalk her and catch her cheating, so she had snuck off with Taco Dave for some sweaty pill fueled pig sex.

Big Jim Slade faxed over his offer letter with a note to the CSB that it was what they had discussed and that if she could match it, he would come in and get rid of all the misfits, as they had agreed.

Star read the letter and told everyone who listened that if Big Jim Slade steps foot in the Lazy K, he's throwing his keys down and storming out. Later that night, Freddie Fife complained that the CSBeaver smelled and oozed like a runny French cheese. But he ate it anyway.

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

You forgot about the part of Big Jim Slade aka Mondo author of the blog!

Anonymous said...

"sweaty pill fueled pig sex" really should be her myspace tagline

this blog always makes me laugh... keep it up!

Anonymous said...

Has someone found the secret of the Blog owner?

Avid Reader said...

Read the blog. Mondo still works at the Lazy K.

Anonymous said...

I heard nobody works at the east Lazyk! What Happend?

Anonymous said...

Yes, it is TRUE Mondo still works at the Lazy K. I just called there and talked to him. If you know the # please call and ask for Mondo. He is wonderful to talk to and the best salesman the Lazy K has!

David Roney said...

It's fun to use the toll free number and call the Lazy K to speak to your favorite inmate. Star loves to talk about his gay tendencies.

Anonymous said...

The CSB has lost her best friend.

Anonymous said...

"the best lazyk salesman" thats being the gold medalist at the special olympics.... even though you won your still a retard

23 north best dealership in town, 59 dollars a month for 30 years

Anonymous said...

"even though you won your still a retard"

hey dumb fuck. there is a difference between YOUR and YOU'RE

my 6 year old knows the difference. why dont you? you'RE one to talk about retards lol