The Wicked Bitch of the West Side: Mommy Killed Me

Vagisil and Peanut Butter are a bad combination.

Can't tell the players without a program?

The CSB -daughter of the owner of the Lazy K. our Boss.
The FSB - sister of the CSB. Fat and Sneaky, shares her crazy belief system with all who will listen and many of those who won't
Old Crusty - Owner of the Lazy K and four sister stores.
The GOB, formerly the Old Battleax- Greedy Old Bitch, Wife of Old Crusty. The genius who makes all the big decisions. Has Bozo the Clown hair and several small dogs.
Fearless Leader- Ex-con, missing several teeth. Former store manager brought it to maintain order while the CSB went on her 4th 28 day vacation. Wishes he could have beat down the employees when they got out of order. Still trying to come back to work at the Lazy K.
The Rhino -illegal immigrant office manager, as big as a Rhino
the Buddha - Finance manager.
Star - Former salesperson, then parts manager, now sales manager. Sex with the CSB may play a part in his rise to power.
Tits Ahoy - current receptionist. big tits and matching ass.
Ellie May - Chunky late 40's former receptionist with a penchant for tank tops and short shorts.
The Manatee- young fat beast who answers the phones at night, glares at people and does crossword puzzles.
Shaggy - former parts manager, now wanted for theft.
Baby Hitler - Parts manager, service manager, parts manager
Daffy - service writer
Famous Nobody - Drag racer nobody has heard of. Can't get a job anywhere else.
Sales Department
Friar Tuck - Miserable Fat Man.
Mondo - Seasonal employee who has no scruples. Wanted in six states.
Beans - Lesbian sales person who enjoys burping and farting.
Ol' Wigger - It just ain't cool to talk, walk or dress like that when you're 38.
Paco - peppy little fellow that wants to make the workplace a happy place. Either incredibly stupid or has a high tolerance for pain and frustration.
The Tour Guide - Paco's Amigo. General all around nice guy who gives guided tours of all the bikes and ATVs. Doesn't sell any.
The New Guy - he'll be gone before you know it.
Supporting Cast
Mr. Moose - The Rhino's giant hillbilly lesbian companion.
Psycho Jedi - Tits Ahoy's boyfriend
The Poodle - Toy Poodle. Has a shrine to him in the dealership. Nobody cares.
Bandit - border collie. Can do tricks, but can't be housebroken.
Generic Service Technician - we have a lot of turnover
The CSBs love life
Taco Dave - Met on AOL, 24 year old Mexican.
Weavepole Dave - Met on Match.com. 54 and butt ugly
Freddy Fife - Barney's taller and less attractive brother. Met on Myspace.
Kerry the Salesman - Match.com.
Tarot - balding freak with a moustache. Likes Denim shirts and denim trousers. Hangs around a lot.

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The Wicked Bitch of the West Side

Mommy Killed Me

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