Fearless Leader Crashes the Company Truck

Fearless Leader is the store manager. He is a tall, toothless ex-con and former alcoholic, and tries to run the store like he was back in the yard. Unfortunately most people don't want to work in conditions similiar to being in lockdown, so turnover is high.

Somehow or another, Fearless Leader got hold of a big bag of xanax bars and decided to bring them to work, and take a few of them while at work. He figured it would be a nice way to pass the day since the CSB was off. He took a couple and didn't feel anything. Now you have to remember that each bar is scored and you are supposed to break off a section or two and take a normal dose of xanax. A bar is equal to about six doses. So he took a couple more bars. Then he started feeling pretty good and figured a few more bars would make him feel even better. So Fearless Leader sat down at his desk on the showroom floor and decided to let everyone in on how good he was feeling.

He used his cell phone to call Baby Hitler, the service manager, and asking "what you doing?""I'm working," said Baby Hitler, who was indeed working, about twenty yards away from Fearless Leader. About the tenth time he received such a call, Baby Hitler asked Fearless Leader what was wrong with him and then turned off his phone. By this time, Ellie May, the receptionist, realized something was wrong with the Leader of the dealership and convinced Fearless Leader to give her the remainder of the Xanax bars after he took about four more, and told her how beautiful her big tits are.

He really likes her tits, and everyone who was near him needed to know that.A little while later, when there was nobody left to tell how much he liked Ellie May's tits and what sort of noises he would make if he stuck his head between them, Fearless Leader decided to show everyone what a great salesperson he was. He went and stood by the front door and spoke to customers as they entered.

"You don't want that bike," he said, pointing to the Gold Wing by the door, or the door itself, "It's a piece of shit, you want this one," he pointed at a dirtbike or the desk or waved his hand in the air like he forgot how to point, "it's really good, man."

Several customers were treated to his opinion and sales were a bit off that day.At about 6 PM someone had the good sense to get Fearless Leader to go home. He of course insisted on driving himself in the company truck. Somewhere during the course of his journey, he sideswiped a car and continued merrily on his way home.Fearless Leader's wife, the straight bulldyke, called the paramedics because she realized he was acting stranger than usual, and that's pretty hard for Fearless Leader to do.

Somehow Fearless Leader mistook the paramedics for Police Officers, remembered some of the bad experiences he'd had with the Police over the course of his life, and began to fight them. Fortunately enough Xanax to stone an elephant had made him easy to subdue, and the Paramedics strapped him to a board and took him to the hospital, where he eventually made a full recovery and returned to being a simple nutcase.

first published on 10/3/06

All new adventures in Motorcycle Hell at http://saintmanure.blogspot.com

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

To me this is one of the all time funniest things to happen while working at the Lazyk...This day was out of control...The next day the police called to report the accident and Patty lied to parents so she could get the left over pills!!!!!!

Ohio's Finest said...

Patty is a nasti beeotch and that idiot she dates is the biggest looser I've seen.

Ohio's Finest said...

WE laugh about him in the squadroom

Anonymous said...

This place sucks. new material please.

Anonymous said...

You guys are so lost. She doesn't date anyone right now. I'll bet you wouldn't call him a loser to his face. Most of you talk to him at bike nights. Try spell check sometime.

Anonymous said...

Tried to go to http://saintmanure.blogspot.com
as recommended by "Lester" but the blog is invitation only. I would love to read about more adventures in Motorcycle Hell. How does one get invited to read this new blog?

Crooked P said...

I know of at least 1 more identical incident(s). It was quite hillarious to see him looking at the ceiling and mumbling and smiling.