Gollum is greedy. Whenever he can, he tries to cheat the new kid with the Ubangi tribal jewelry hanging off his ears out of his commissions. Because Dickie fantasizes about an all he can eat Gollum sausagefest, he lets Gollum make the rules for the sales department. Gollum seems to find reasons to split most every deal.
Recently, Big Opie and the Comic Book Guy were opening the Point of Purchase displays that Suzuki sent us. They found a stack of posters of all the famous riders amongst the hangtags and safety notices. Big Opie took th stack of posters to Mondo and asked what to do with them.
"Let's sign them and put them on ebay," said Mondo. Then he went to lunch.
So Big Opie and the Comic Book Guy took the posters and signed them, some with the right hand, some with the left, with sharpie and ballpoint pen. By the time Mondo got back, they had signed the entire stack of posters and were arguing about who did the best Rickie Carmichael signature, and planning what they were going to do with the money from ebay.
"I was kidding," said Mondo, "That's not only criminal, it is easy to trace."
The evil Mondo made Big Opie and the Comic Book Guy throw away all their signed posters, save for one.
The next day, when Gollum came in from his day off, Mondo showed him the last remaining poster.
"The suzuki rep brought it by," he said, "and I gave it to Big Opie."
"Do you want it?" gollum asked Big Opie.
"Not really, I ride a Kawasaki ZX-10 and Suzukis suck."
"I'll take it," said Gollum, watching an imaginary auction take off in his head.
"I'll give it to you for a sandwich," said Big Opie.
So Gollum got the signed original poster of all the famous Suzuki riders for a sandwich that it took Big Opie a week of asking for every day before he finally got it.
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