We were told today that the FSB has webbed feet, like a frog. Bet she's a hell of a swimmer. But can she catch flies?
Here is an interesting myspace link someone sent us that has nothing to do with the blog. Honest. I swear. Never seen it before. Really. What, you don't believe me? Check out his friends. The starting 5 seem somehow familiar. I may not know their names, but I'm sure they have compelling stories worth telling. If only someone would take the time to make a blog...
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=116997966
Does life imitates art? And if so, is this art, or just the rambled rantings of various pissed off ex and current employees?
The Final Tour
The Tour Guide went to lunch and hasn't come back yet. That was four days ago. We think he quit.
I guess he realized those $5 commissions don't really add up to all that much, especially when they are deducted from your $600 monthly draw, so you end up making minimum wage for enduring the CSB 10 hours a day, 6 days a week.
What took him so long?
Paco is mad and says he can't believe the Tour Guide did this after Paco recommended him for the job. Paco says the Tour Guide made Paco look bad in the eyes of management.
Because nobody has applied for a Sales job, or any job, at the Lazy K in the last couple of months, even though we end all our co-op ads with "Now Hiring at all five Lazy K locations," and 'Now Hiring' is the first thing you see when you enter the company website, and all the doors and counters at all the Lazy Ks have big signs taped up that say "Now Hiring, All Positions," Star has told the Sales crew that in his professional opinion we have enough people now that half of the staff has quit and it is the busiest time of the year and nobody is applying for jobs at the Lazy K, so he isn't going to hire anyone else.
I guess he realized those $5 commissions don't really add up to all that much, especially when they are deducted from your $600 monthly draw, so you end up making minimum wage for enduring the CSB 10 hours a day, 6 days a week.
What took him so long?
Paco is mad and says he can't believe the Tour Guide did this after Paco recommended him for the job. Paco says the Tour Guide made Paco look bad in the eyes of management.
Because nobody has applied for a Sales job, or any job, at the Lazy K in the last couple of months, even though we end all our co-op ads with "Now Hiring at all five Lazy K locations," and 'Now Hiring' is the first thing you see when you enter the company website, and all the doors and counters at all the Lazy Ks have big signs taped up that say "Now Hiring, All Positions," Star has told the Sales crew that in his professional opinion we have enough people now that half of the staff has quit and it is the busiest time of the year and nobody is applying for jobs at the Lazy K, so he isn't going to hire anyone else.
Baby Hitler's Fort
There was nobody at the parts counter, and the customer got tired of waiting. This was his third trip to the Lazy K to retrieve the helmet he ordered, and, even though nobody had called him to say it was in, three weeks and a day had gone by, and two weeks since he was told it would be in, so he decided to take his chances.
He waited for fifteen minutes with the gathering crowd that wanted to pick up or order parts. The big girl with the watermelon tits from the front counter who called him "Sweetie" was on her way back from the bathroom. He asked her if the parts department was open so he could find out where his helmet was.
"Let me see if I can find someone to get you taken care of, Sugar," said Tits Ahoy.
She walked back behind the counter looking for the helmet, and into the room where we stock parts. She turned the corner, and down at the end of the aisle where we stock the helmets and empty boxes from the display helmets, Baby Hitler had made himself a little fort out of helmet boxes. As she got further into the room, Tits Ahoy heard Baby Hitler speaking softly.
"I like that. It's making me really hard. Are your panties wet? because my dick is so hard right now. If you were here right now, I would take you in the back room and fuck you good."
Tits Ahoy realized Baby Hitler was having phone sex and whacking off. Tits Ahoy turned to leave and her tits knocked a bunch of helmets over and Baby Hitler jerked up, and started wiping off and zipping closed.
"Oh shit, I gotta go," Baby Hitler slammed the phone down, adjusted his jeans so he was a bit more comfortable, and came running over to where Tits was, asking her what the fuck happened.
"I was distracted and not paying any attention and knocked over the stack of helmets. What were you doing back there?"
Baby Hitler told Tits Ahoy that he wasn’t doing what she thought he was doing, whatever that was. His face was three shades of beet.
"Whatever," said Tits, and walked off.
Baby Hitler spent the rest of the day asking Tits Ahoy what she thought she heard and begging her not to tell anyone. She ran and told the Rhino about Baby Hitler whacking off in the parts department, so everyone knew by closing time.
So that's what's happening to all the paper towels.
He waited for fifteen minutes with the gathering crowd that wanted to pick up or order parts. The big girl with the watermelon tits from the front counter who called him "Sweetie" was on her way back from the bathroom. He asked her if the parts department was open so he could find out where his helmet was.
She walked back behind the counter looking for the helmet, and into the room where we stock parts. She turned the corner, and down at the end of the aisle where we stock the helmets and empty boxes from the display helmets, Baby Hitler had made himself a little fort out of helmet boxes. As she got further into the room, Tits Ahoy heard Baby Hitler speaking softly.
"I like that. It's making me really hard. Are your panties wet? because my dick is so hard right now. If you were here right now, I would take you in the back room and fuck you good."
Tits Ahoy realized Baby Hitler was having phone sex and whacking off. Tits Ahoy turned to leave and her tits knocked a bunch of helmets over and Baby Hitler jerked up, and started wiping off and zipping closed.
"Oh shit, I gotta go," Baby Hitler slammed the phone down, adjusted his jeans so he was a bit more comfortable, and came running over to where Tits was, asking her what the fuck happened.
"I was distracted and not paying any attention and knocked over the stack of helmets. What were you doing back there?"
Baby Hitler told Tits Ahoy that he wasn’t doing what she thought he was doing, whatever that was. His face was three shades of beet.
"Whatever," said Tits, and walked off.
Baby Hitler spent the rest of the day asking Tits Ahoy what she thought she heard and begging her not to tell anyone. She ran and told the Rhino about Baby Hitler whacking off in the parts department, so everyone knew by closing time.
So that's what's happening to all the paper towels.
Paco's Parts
The CSB spent the morning out in front of the Lazy K screaming at Paco. She doesn't scream at the inmates in the store anymore, because she doesn't want her tirades to end up in the blog, so she takes them outside and rages.
Then the CSB came inside and told the other salespeople that they might as well hear it too, anybody caught contributing to the blog is out of here. And if she has to, she will fire everyone in the entire store if anything current shows up in the blog. "I don't care if I have to pay unemployment forever," she said, "I have to live here, you can quit and go somewhere else, but I have to live here. I live here and have a good reputation to uphold. and this blog is hurting our reputation. Because I have to live here and you don't. You can go somewhere else and quit, but I have to live here. And you don't. But I have to. And uphold my reputation. I have to live here forever."
Tits Ahoy still has back pain from her car accident six years ago. She put half a dozen percocets on the counter, and went back to get a drink of water to take them with. When she returned, the CSB was in the process of dry swallowing something, and her pain pills were gone. Tits Ahoy is worried that the State could step in and take her daughter if they find out she is selling the CSB part of her prescription every week.
Recently, Paco got himself a Kawasaki ZX-14. He was really happy, even though the CSB charged him a lot more than he wanted to pay, and made him pay the new non-negotiable $250 doc fee and didn't give him very much for his trade. He ordered a lot of new parts for his bike, and was looking forward to putting all the parts on his bike and escaping from his pregnant wife and screaming kids for a day at the drag strip.
The CSB went to her computer and passed out. Drool seeped from the corners of her mouth. But at least she wasn't in the back room, asleep with her dogs and their toys, like it says in the blog. She is making an effort not to do the things the blog says she does. Except for having sex with Taco Dave. And letting her dogs shit all over the back of the store. And buying pills from her employees. And calling her mother a fucking bitch when she hangs up the phone.
Paco's parts came. And they were for a Suzuki Hayabusa. Nothing fit. What a surprise. So Paco got to argue with Baby Hitler about who made the mistake, and try to get the Lazy K to order the right parts and not make him pay the re-stocking fee.
Around 3 PM, the CSB woke up and started wandering through the Lazy K, wishing everyone a good morning.
And more good news, while the CSB was sleeping and drooling and dreaming of leaping poodles and giant vicodin bottles on puffy pink clouds and sex with the new radio rep, we sold Paco's Buelltaco for $2000 more than Paco got as a trade-in allowance, which is about double the norm at the Lazy K. So Paco got fucked on the deal even more than he thought.
Later in the evening, the CSB decided to start negotiating the non-negotiable doc fee with customers, it just seemed like a good thing to do that magical day when the afternoon felt like morning, the moon was in the seventh house, and Jupiter aligned with Mars, and it got as low as $50 for one ripe and pungent Pakistani who wanted a discount because there was dust on the exhaust pipe, and $100 for everyone else. But not Paco.
Then the CSB came inside and told the other salespeople that they might as well hear it too, anybody caught contributing to the blog is out of here. And if she has to, she will fire everyone in the entire store if anything current shows up in the blog. "I don't care if I have to pay unemployment forever," she said, "I have to live here, you can quit and go somewhere else, but I have to live here. I live here and have a good reputation to uphold. and this blog is hurting our reputation. Because I have to live here and you don't. You can go somewhere else and quit, but I have to live here. And you don't. But I have to. And uphold my reputation. I have to live here forever."
Tits Ahoy still has back pain from her car accident six years ago. She put half a dozen percocets on the counter, and went back to get a drink of water to take them with. When she returned, the CSB was in the process of dry swallowing something, and her pain pills were gone. Tits Ahoy is worried that the State could step in and take her daughter if they find out she is selling the CSB part of her prescription every week.
Recently, Paco got himself a Kawasaki ZX-14. He was really happy, even though the CSB charged him a lot more than he wanted to pay, and made him pay the new non-negotiable $250 doc fee and didn't give him very much for his trade. He ordered a lot of new parts for his bike, and was looking forward to putting all the parts on his bike and escaping from his pregnant wife and screaming kids for a day at the drag strip.
The CSB went to her computer and passed out. Drool seeped from the corners of her mouth. But at least she wasn't in the back room, asleep with her dogs and their toys, like it says in the blog. She is making an effort not to do the things the blog says she does. Except for having sex with Taco Dave. And letting her dogs shit all over the back of the store. And buying pills from her employees. And calling her mother a fucking bitch when she hangs up the phone.
Paco's parts came. And they were for a Suzuki Hayabusa. Nothing fit. What a surprise. So Paco got to argue with Baby Hitler about who made the mistake, and try to get the Lazy K to order the right parts and not make him pay the re-stocking fee.
Around 3 PM, the CSB woke up and started wandering through the Lazy K, wishing everyone a good morning.
And more good news, while the CSB was sleeping and drooling and dreaming of leaping poodles and giant vicodin bottles on puffy pink clouds and sex with the new radio rep, we sold Paco's Buelltaco for $2000 more than Paco got as a trade-in allowance, which is about double the norm at the Lazy K. So Paco got fucked on the deal even more than he thought.
Later in the evening, the CSB decided to start negotiating the non-negotiable doc fee with customers, it just seemed like a good thing to do that magical day when the afternoon felt like morning, the moon was in the seventh house, and Jupiter aligned with Mars, and it got as low as $50 for one ripe and pungent Pakistani who wanted a discount because there was dust on the exhaust pipe, and $100 for everyone else. But not Paco.
The CSB even waived the state taxes and title fee for one bright hilljack who decided he didn't want to pay a $15 title fee for an $8000 ATV. So he won't get a title for his quad. Dumbass.
Then the CSB wandered into the middle of one of Mondo's deals and let the customer have a Honda Recon for $861 below cost after he watched Bandit run through the weavepoles in front of the ATVs three times. Mondo made $5 for the two and a half hours he spent trying to sell the guy.
Mondo was not happy with the CSB. And he said so.
"I don't need you to tell me how to do my fucking job," said the Crazy Screaming Bitch, "I've been doing this for fucking ever. Just be glad I stepped in and saved the fucking deal. If you don't fucking like the way I fucking do things, you can fucking quit whenever you fucking want, but I have to stay here. So don't tell me how to do my fucking job."
Then the CSB put the poodle on the front counter and asked it how to spend $5.
"That's $35 to a dog," said Ol' Wigger, "That's a lot of money."
Now Paco wants the Lazy K to give him $150 back, the part of the doc fee the CSB is willing to negotiate away to anyone who asks faster than she drops her pants for hot dick pics from Craigslist, even though the law clearly states that you have to charge everyone the same doc fee. The CSB said no.
Welcome to business as usual at the Lazy K.
Now Paco wants the Lazy K to give him $150 back, the part of the doc fee the CSB is willing to negotiate away to anyone who asks faster than she drops her pants for hot dick pics from Craigslist, even though the law clearly states that you have to charge everyone the same doc fee. The CSB said no.
Welcome to business as usual at the Lazy K.
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