A woman's fall in a puddle of dog urine has resulted in a lawsuit against the Lazy K.
June Beaver slipped in the urine at the Lazy K on April 2, 2006, according to the lawsuit, filed by Beaver and her husband, Ward, in Chaos County District Court earlier this month.
Beaver claims that she was seriously injured in the fall.
The lawsuit alleges that the Lazy K's negligence led to Beaver's fall, but it does not specifically say how the store was negligent.
The Homeless Guy, a Lazy K spokesman, decline comment saying he hadn't seen the lawsuit.The lawsuit claims that Beaver suffered serious neck and upper back injuries in the fall and has undergone several surgeries and is unable to work.
Showing posts with label advrider. Show all posts
Showing posts with label advrider. Show all posts
Paco's Parts
The CSB spent the morning out in front of the Lazy K screaming at Paco. She doesn't scream at the inmates in the store anymore, because she doesn't want her tirades to end up in the blog, so she takes them outside and rages.
Then the CSB came inside and told the other salespeople that they might as well hear it too, anybody caught contributing to the blog is out of here. And if she has to, she will fire everyone in the entire store if anything current shows up in the blog. "I don't care if I have to pay unemployment forever," she said, "I have to live here, you can quit and go somewhere else, but I have to live here. I live here and have a good reputation to uphold. and this blog is hurting our reputation. Because I have to live here and you don't. You can go somewhere else and quit, but I have to live here. And you don't. But I have to. And uphold my reputation. I have to live here forever."
Tits Ahoy still has back pain from her car accident six years ago. She put half a dozen percocets on the counter, and went back to get a drink of water to take them with. When she returned, the CSB was in the process of dry swallowing something, and her pain pills were gone. Tits Ahoy is worried that the State could step in and take her daughter if they find out she is selling the CSB part of her prescription every week.
Recently, Paco got himself a Kawasaki ZX-14. He was really happy, even though the CSB charged him a lot more than he wanted to pay, and made him pay the new non-negotiable $250 doc fee and didn't give him very much for his trade. He ordered a lot of new parts for his bike, and was looking forward to putting all the parts on his bike and escaping from his pregnant wife and screaming kids for a day at the drag strip.
The CSB went to her computer and passed out. Drool seeped from the corners of her mouth. But at least she wasn't in the back room, asleep with her dogs and their toys, like it says in the blog. She is making an effort not to do the things the blog says she does. Except for having sex with Taco Dave. And letting her dogs shit all over the back of the store. And buying pills from her employees. And calling her mother a fucking bitch when she hangs up the phone.
Paco's parts came. And they were for a Suzuki Hayabusa. Nothing fit. What a surprise. So Paco got to argue with Baby Hitler about who made the mistake, and try to get the Lazy K to order the right parts and not make him pay the re-stocking fee.
Around 3 PM, the CSB woke up and started wandering through the Lazy K, wishing everyone a good morning.
And more good news, while the CSB was sleeping and drooling and dreaming of leaping poodles and giant vicodin bottles on puffy pink clouds and sex with the new radio rep, we sold Paco's Buelltaco for $2000 more than Paco got as a trade-in allowance, which is about double the norm at the Lazy K. So Paco got fucked on the deal even more than he thought.
Later in the evening, the CSB decided to start negotiating the non-negotiable doc fee with customers, it just seemed like a good thing to do that magical day when the afternoon felt like morning, the moon was in the seventh house, and Jupiter aligned with Mars, and it got as low as $50 for one ripe and pungent Pakistani who wanted a discount because there was dust on the exhaust pipe, and $100 for everyone else. But not Paco.
Then the CSB came inside and told the other salespeople that they might as well hear it too, anybody caught contributing to the blog is out of here. And if she has to, she will fire everyone in the entire store if anything current shows up in the blog. "I don't care if I have to pay unemployment forever," she said, "I have to live here, you can quit and go somewhere else, but I have to live here. I live here and have a good reputation to uphold. and this blog is hurting our reputation. Because I have to live here and you don't. You can go somewhere else and quit, but I have to live here. And you don't. But I have to. And uphold my reputation. I have to live here forever."
Tits Ahoy still has back pain from her car accident six years ago. She put half a dozen percocets on the counter, and went back to get a drink of water to take them with. When she returned, the CSB was in the process of dry swallowing something, and her pain pills were gone. Tits Ahoy is worried that the State could step in and take her daughter if they find out she is selling the CSB part of her prescription every week.
Recently, Paco got himself a Kawasaki ZX-14. He was really happy, even though the CSB charged him a lot more than he wanted to pay, and made him pay the new non-negotiable $250 doc fee and didn't give him very much for his trade. He ordered a lot of new parts for his bike, and was looking forward to putting all the parts on his bike and escaping from his pregnant wife and screaming kids for a day at the drag strip.
The CSB went to her computer and passed out. Drool seeped from the corners of her mouth. But at least she wasn't in the back room, asleep with her dogs and their toys, like it says in the blog. She is making an effort not to do the things the blog says she does. Except for having sex with Taco Dave. And letting her dogs shit all over the back of the store. And buying pills from her employees. And calling her mother a fucking bitch when she hangs up the phone.
Paco's parts came. And they were for a Suzuki Hayabusa. Nothing fit. What a surprise. So Paco got to argue with Baby Hitler about who made the mistake, and try to get the Lazy K to order the right parts and not make him pay the re-stocking fee.
Around 3 PM, the CSB woke up and started wandering through the Lazy K, wishing everyone a good morning.
And more good news, while the CSB was sleeping and drooling and dreaming of leaping poodles and giant vicodin bottles on puffy pink clouds and sex with the new radio rep, we sold Paco's Buelltaco for $2000 more than Paco got as a trade-in allowance, which is about double the norm at the Lazy K. So Paco got fucked on the deal even more than he thought.
Later in the evening, the CSB decided to start negotiating the non-negotiable doc fee with customers, it just seemed like a good thing to do that magical day when the afternoon felt like morning, the moon was in the seventh house, and Jupiter aligned with Mars, and it got as low as $50 for one ripe and pungent Pakistani who wanted a discount because there was dust on the exhaust pipe, and $100 for everyone else. But not Paco.
The CSB even waived the state taxes and title fee for one bright hilljack who decided he didn't want to pay a $15 title fee for an $8000 ATV. So he won't get a title for his quad. Dumbass.
Then the CSB wandered into the middle of one of Mondo's deals and let the customer have a Honda Recon for $861 below cost after he watched Bandit run through the weavepoles in front of the ATVs three times. Mondo made $5 for the two and a half hours he spent trying to sell the guy.
Mondo was not happy with the CSB. And he said so.
"I don't need you to tell me how to do my fucking job," said the Crazy Screaming Bitch, "I've been doing this for fucking ever. Just be glad I stepped in and saved the fucking deal. If you don't fucking like the way I fucking do things, you can fucking quit whenever you fucking want, but I have to stay here. So don't tell me how to do my fucking job."
Then the CSB put the poodle on the front counter and asked it how to spend $5.
"That's $35 to a dog," said Ol' Wigger, "That's a lot of money."
Now Paco wants the Lazy K to give him $150 back, the part of the doc fee the CSB is willing to negotiate away to anyone who asks faster than she drops her pants for hot dick pics from Craigslist, even though the law clearly states that you have to charge everyone the same doc fee. The CSB said no.
Welcome to business as usual at the Lazy K.
Now Paco wants the Lazy K to give him $150 back, the part of the doc fee the CSB is willing to negotiate away to anyone who asks faster than she drops her pants for hot dick pics from Craigslist, even though the law clearly states that you have to charge everyone the same doc fee. The CSB said no.
Welcome to business as usual at the Lazy K.
CSB- The Good Old Days
A reader sent this to us, and we thought it was worth including.
Sister Dick,
Here is what I posted on advrider about my experiences with the industry and my limited but interesting CSB meeting.
I worked at the dealership that had the Suzuki and Honda line before the LazyK moved into town. What is REALLY funny is that the shit that went on at that dealership is just like the LazyK.
The owner was a washout med student that was given the dealership to run by his dad. His girlfriend was a part-time hooker who had a serious coke problem! She had huge saggy boobs and she always looked like she hadn't slept in a week. Her sister worked there for a short time and she was just freaky-hot! Dumb as a post too!
Most days the boss was gone so the parts manager, the cashier/receptionist and I ran the place. I was 18 and I wanted that job so bad that I worked for $1.85 an hour when minimum wage was $2.50. His absences were so bad that I became the designated check signer since everything came COD. It was fun while it lasted and I bought a bunch of bikes in my time as parts guy.
It went under after three years. BTW, I married the cashier/receptionist. Er...divorced her too.
CSB was a HOTTIE way back when. I saw her drunk at a dealer show and some rep had his hand down her pants. I think she was underage at the time too. Ahh...the good old days...
It seems like not much has changed. I can't wait to stop by on my next trip back to Chaos.
gearhead
Sister Dick,
Here is what I posted on advrider about my experiences with the industry and my limited but interesting CSB meeting.
I worked at the dealership that had the Suzuki and Honda line before the LazyK moved into town. What is REALLY funny is that the shit that went on at that dealership is just like the LazyK.
The owner was a washout med student that was given the dealership to run by his dad. His girlfriend was a part-time hooker who had a serious coke problem! She had huge saggy boobs and she always looked like she hadn't slept in a week. Her sister worked there for a short time and she was just freaky-hot! Dumb as a post too!
Most days the boss was gone so the parts manager, the cashier/receptionist and I ran the place. I was 18 and I wanted that job so bad that I worked for $1.85 an hour when minimum wage was $2.50. His absences were so bad that I became the designated check signer since everything came COD. It was fun while it lasted and I bought a bunch of bikes in my time as parts guy.
It went under after three years. BTW, I married the cashier/receptionist. Er...divorced her too.
CSB was a HOTTIE way back when. I saw her drunk at a dealer show and some rep had his hand down her pants. I think she was underage at the time too. Ahh...the good old days...
It seems like not much has changed. I can't wait to stop by on my next trip back to Chaos.
gearhead
interview with the CSB
"My name is CSB.
No one acts like a crackhead better than me.
It's not an act, ya'll done got the facts.
Where's the loyalty? I thought these people had my back.
But it's okay, it worked for Whitney; CRACK IS WHACK!
Speaking of Whitney, it reminds me of my boyfriends like Bobby.
Running from cops, jumping fences with my dogs right behind me.
That's how I picked up my second hobby.
Agility.
What's my first hobby you ASK?
Pills!
I get my pills like Meals on Wheels.
When the FedEX truck shows up, I'm like a kid at the ice cream truck.
Pushing old ladys in walkers to get up front.
Don't talk to me after 10:05, pills are in me, fuck customers, I'm high!
I've watched tons of Lazy K slaves come and go.
Who cares, I'm the leading star
like Johnny Depp in Blow.
Alright, I'm too high, I'm out.
If you need me I'll be in the back taking a nap, snorting pills, or smokin' my crack. "
No one acts like a crackhead better than me.
It's not an act, ya'll done got the facts.
Where's the loyalty? I thought these people had my back.
But it's okay, it worked for Whitney; CRACK IS WHACK!
Speaking of Whitney, it reminds me of my boyfriends like Bobby.
Running from cops, jumping fences with my dogs right behind me.
That's how I picked up my second hobby.
Agility.
What's my first hobby you ASK?
Pills!
I get my pills like Meals on Wheels.
When the FedEX truck shows up, I'm like a kid at the ice cream truck.
Pushing old ladys in walkers to get up front.
Don't talk to me after 10:05, pills are in me, fuck customers, I'm high!
I've watched tons of Lazy K slaves come and go.
Who cares, I'm the leading star
like Johnny Depp in Blow.
Alright, I'm too high, I'm out.
If you need me I'll be in the back taking a nap, snorting pills, or smokin' my crack. "
Please Stop
Dear Readers,
Please stop calling the Lazy K and asking if it is the Lazy K. I don't know if you are using their toll free number, and neither do they, because they don't have caller ID. This is not funny, and they don't want to pay for a bunch of prank calls coming from all over the US and Canada. They get billed something like $1.25 if the call comes from a payphone, so stop doing it.
The inmates are trying to work, and they are getting tired of picking up the phone, answering questions which appear to be from legitimate customers to the best of their ability, and then being asked if the CSB is already passed out in the back office.
None of us think this is funny. We are laughing at something else. Honest.
Also, we don't know who is impersonating the owner of a Canadian Pharmacy, but getting the CSB's hopes up like that is just plain cruel. And I still can't believe you got her to give you a credit card number over the phone.
To the person who is sending the dick pics to the company email, this too must stop. The email address you are getting off the company website is incorrect. They are somehow ending up in the wrong Lazy K, and giving Old Crusty conniption fits.
Thank you for your understanding,
The Staff at the Wicked Bitch of the West Side Blog
PS- We are actively seeking stories about the Lazy K and the CSB's interesting and colorful past. Please email any CSB or Lazy K anecdotes you wish to share to wyomex200@yahoo.com
Please stop calling the Lazy K and asking if it is the Lazy K. I don't know if you are using their toll free number, and neither do they, because they don't have caller ID. This is not funny, and they don't want to pay for a bunch of prank calls coming from all over the US and Canada. They get billed something like $1.25 if the call comes from a payphone, so stop doing it.
The inmates are trying to work, and they are getting tired of picking up the phone, answering questions which appear to be from legitimate customers to the best of their ability, and then being asked if the CSB is already passed out in the back office.
None of us think this is funny. We are laughing at something else. Honest.
Also, we don't know who is impersonating the owner of a Canadian Pharmacy, but getting the CSB's hopes up like that is just plain cruel. And I still can't believe you got her to give you a credit card number over the phone.
To the person who is sending the dick pics to the company email, this too must stop. The email address you are getting off the company website is incorrect. They are somehow ending up in the wrong Lazy K, and giving Old Crusty conniption fits.
Thank you for your understanding,
The Staff at the Wicked Bitch of the West Side Blog
PS- We are actively seeking stories about the Lazy K and the CSB's interesting and colorful past. Please email any CSB or Lazy K anecdotes you wish to share to wyomex200@yahoo.com
Hillbilly Beat Down
Paco got his ass kicked by a girl.
Star decided to have a party to celebrate his Meal Ticket graduating from nursing school and being able to make payments on more crap he wants to buy and can't afford. He invited everyone from the Lazy K, and the Rhino and Paco both showed up. The Rhino brought Mr. Moose, her strapping hillbilly girlfriend, and Paco came in his leather fag pants and matching jacket.
Paco was talking to Mr. Moose and told him/her that he was not making very much money because of the blog, and he is sure the mole is the Rhino. He called her a fucking cunt.
This did not sit well with Mr. Moose, and she grabbed Paco and threw him to the ground. Mr. Moose was smacking the shit out of Paco, until Star and his boyfriend pulled her off. Paco tells everyone he was a kung fu champion, but apparently Drunk Hillbilly Opening Up a Can of Whoopass on You trumps Prancing Dragon Style.
Paco disgraced his dojo. In Japan, Kung Fu Master Paco would have disemboweled himself in shame. Fortunately, he couldn't find a knife among the sporks sharp enough to commit ritual suicide and burn an indelible mental picture in the minds of the other guests, including the Meal Ticket's family, who were wondering why a big mean bull dyke was beating the crap out of somebody who looked like he mistook the party for the audition site for the Village People movie.
Once on his feet, and safe from the menacing redneck, who was being restrained by Star and his ambiguously gay friend Brian, Paco told Mr. Moose that his pregnant wife could kick Mr. Moose's ass.
She must beat the shit out of Paco on a regular basis.
Star was in his usual after work alcohol fueled stupor, so he decided it would be a good idea to watch the drunk neighbor do donuts in the future in-law's lawn with his jacked up 4 by 4.
Ol' Wigger showed up with a cooler of frozen jello shots, and started throwing them at Star. Star caught several strawberry fastballs with his forehead, and then passed out at the table. The Meal Ticket decided she liked the way Ol' Wigger pitched, so they made out while Star was face down in the potato salad, and Paco told anyone who would listen how much he hates the Lazy K.
The CSB must have been horny, because she called Freddy Fife Dave.
Star decided to have a party to celebrate his Meal Ticket graduating from nursing school and being able to make payments on more crap he wants to buy and can't afford. He invited everyone from the Lazy K, and the Rhino and Paco both showed up. The Rhino brought Mr. Moose, her strapping hillbilly girlfriend, and Paco came in his leather fag pants and matching jacket.
Paco was talking to Mr. Moose and told him/her that he was not making very much money because of the blog, and he is sure the mole is the Rhino. He called her a fucking cunt.
This did not sit well with Mr. Moose, and she grabbed Paco and threw him to the ground. Mr. Moose was smacking the shit out of Paco, until Star and his boyfriend pulled her off. Paco tells everyone he was a kung fu champion, but apparently Drunk Hillbilly Opening Up a Can of Whoopass on You trumps Prancing Dragon Style.
Paco disgraced his dojo. In Japan, Kung Fu Master Paco would have disemboweled himself in shame. Fortunately, he couldn't find a knife among the sporks sharp enough to commit ritual suicide and burn an indelible mental picture in the minds of the other guests, including the Meal Ticket's family, who were wondering why a big mean bull dyke was beating the crap out of somebody who looked like he mistook the party for the audition site for the Village People movie.
Once on his feet, and safe from the menacing redneck, who was being restrained by Star and his ambiguously gay friend Brian, Paco told Mr. Moose that his pregnant wife could kick Mr. Moose's ass.
She must beat the shit out of Paco on a regular basis.
Star was in his usual after work alcohol fueled stupor, so he decided it would be a good idea to watch the drunk neighbor do donuts in the future in-law's lawn with his jacked up 4 by 4.
Ol' Wigger showed up with a cooler of frozen jello shots, and started throwing them at Star. Star caught several strawberry fastballs with his forehead, and then passed out at the table. The Meal Ticket decided she liked the way Ol' Wigger pitched, so they made out while Star was face down in the potato salad, and Paco told anyone who would listen how much he hates the Lazy K.
The CSB must have been horny, because she called Freddy Fife Dave.
Snitch
I apologize to our readers. We are being threatened with legal action by people who believe they own the Lazy K, even though they deny it exists. I have been told to expect to be served any day now. So I pulled this story for a day and decided to put it back up because these mutton heads can't sue us, even if they want to. And if they do, they won't prevail. And if they do prevail, they will get my laptop, lots of nude pics of the CSB and a handful of peanut M&Ms, and that's about it. So I guess they should feel free to go fuck themselves, if they feel up to it and their attorney tells them it is the right thing to do.
Sister Dick
Star has been telling people that the Lazy K is going to have lie detector tests to find out who is talking to the authors of the blog. Star actually told employees that Stupor Trooper Freddie Fife of the State Highway Patrol has a lie detector machine and is going to drop it off at the Lazy K for the CSB and Star to use on the inmates to find the snitch. According to Star and the CSB, they are not going to ask anyone if they are the snitch, but are going to ask people if they know who the snitch is, for legal reasons.
If your IQ was higher than 30 and you showed up at work one day and were told this by management, what conclusions would you draw?
Questions we would like to see asked during these lie detector tests:
Do you illegally buy prescription drugs from your employees?
Are you still having sex with the character known as Taco Dave?
For the Lazy K Junior Rangers out there, here is your secret message of the week in our impossible to break secret code.
Arstay isay Upidstay.
Eallyray eallyray upidstay.
Sister Dick
Star has been telling people that the Lazy K is going to have lie detector tests to find out who is talking to the authors of the blog. Star actually told employees that Stupor Trooper Freddie Fife of the State Highway Patrol has a lie detector machine and is going to drop it off at the Lazy K for the CSB and Star to use on the inmates to find the snitch. According to Star and the CSB, they are not going to ask anyone if they are the snitch, but are going to ask people if they know who the snitch is, for legal reasons.
If your IQ was higher than 30 and you showed up at work one day and were told this by management, what conclusions would you draw?
Questions we would like to see asked during these lie detector tests:
Do you illegally buy prescription drugs from your employees?
Are you still having sex with the character known as Taco Dave?
For the Lazy K Junior Rangers out there, here is your secret message of the week in our impossible to break secret code.
Arstay isay Upidstay.
Eallyray eallyray upidstay.
Spring is in the Air
Spring is finally here, and the Lazy K is enjoying some nice warm days. Nothing like a little sunshine to bring the customers in to step over the dogshit and look at bikes.
The guys in service decided that it would be fun to fill the undertail exhaust of a brand new Honda CBR600RR with water while they were washing it. The buyer was at the Buddha's desk, signing the purchase order.
Famous Nobody, the drag racing loser and failure as a service technician, paged Tits Ahoy to the service department. When she wandered back to see what they wanted, hoping it was to smoke another joint in the tunnel, he fired up the bike, revved it to the rev limiter, and doused Tit's tits with water.
Then he filled the exhaust system with water a few more times and shot some of it into the mechanic's bay.
The new guy in service who knows nothing about bikes but is responsible for showing buyers how theirs operates when they buy it, was wheeling a brand new Suzuki C50 back to be prepped. He slipped in the combination of water and motor oil on the floor of the service department, and fell, pushing the Suzuki away as he did. It fell over, and took out a customer's Yamaha Vino scooter, ripping a hole in the seat and leaving a big gash in the plastic.
They told the CSB that the sink had clogged and overflowed and nobody saw the water until it was too late.
The CSB had them put a Lazy K sticker over the big scratch on the fender of the C50, and push the Vino outside to the parking lot and tell the owner that someone pushed it over, so the Lazy K is not responsible for the damage. She told Daffy that when the Vino guy called, to transfer the call to her, and threatened to fire anyone who couldn't keep his fucking mouth shut.
The CSB called her mother and bitched about the fuckups in service.
The guys in service decided that it would be fun to fill the undertail exhaust of a brand new Honda CBR600RR with water while they were washing it. The buyer was at the Buddha's desk, signing the purchase order.
Famous Nobody, the drag racing loser and failure as a service technician, paged Tits Ahoy to the service department. When she wandered back to see what they wanted, hoping it was to smoke another joint in the tunnel, he fired up the bike, revved it to the rev limiter, and doused Tit's tits with water.
Then he filled the exhaust system with water a few more times and shot some of it into the mechanic's bay.
The new guy in service who knows nothing about bikes but is responsible for showing buyers how theirs operates when they buy it, was wheeling a brand new Suzuki C50 back to be prepped. He slipped in the combination of water and motor oil on the floor of the service department, and fell, pushing the Suzuki away as he did. It fell over, and took out a customer's Yamaha Vino scooter, ripping a hole in the seat and leaving a big gash in the plastic.
They told the CSB that the sink had clogged and overflowed and nobody saw the water until it was too late.
The CSB had them put a Lazy K sticker over the big scratch on the fender of the C50, and push the Vino outside to the parking lot and tell the owner that someone pushed it over, so the Lazy K is not responsible for the damage. She told Daffy that when the Vino guy called, to transfer the call to her, and threatened to fire anyone who couldn't keep his fucking mouth shut.
The CSB called her mother and bitched about the fuckups in service.
He's Back
Fearless Leader has returned.
After storming out of the Lazy K, vowing never to return, he found employment elsewhere. It didn't last. Then he found another job. Got fired there too. Then he opened his own shop, because Fearless Leader is an expert in all manner of mechanical repairs. He's the genius who told a customer the second number in an oil viscosity rating is how many minutes it takes to cool. He used to tell us that he could make more money wrenching on bikes in his garage than he was getting to torture the employees of the Lazy K. Shop went under in three months, so that's probably not true either. He got another job. Got fired again. Sold cellphones. For two weeks. Started inviting people to his house. To learn about Amway. Couldn't hang onto any job long enough to be eligible for unemployment benefits when they realized what an idiot he is.
To an idiot, another idiot is a genius. But even idiots can tell that Fearless Leader is an idiot.
So Fearless Leader started emailing the CSB, begging for his job back and sending her photos of his dead dog and the new one he got to replace it.
In order to punish her parents for making her the mess that she is, the CSB convinced them to hire Fearless Leader to manage the Service Department at the original Lazy K. This is the mother ship, where motorcycles are assembled then left out to rust in the rain and snow all winter long and sent out to all the other Lazy Ks.
Bad things are starting to happen.
After storming out of the Lazy K, vowing never to return, he found employment elsewhere. It didn't last. Then he found another job. Got fired there too. Then he opened his own shop, because Fearless Leader is an expert in all manner of mechanical repairs. He's the genius who told a customer the second number in an oil viscosity rating is how many minutes it takes to cool. He used to tell us that he could make more money wrenching on bikes in his garage than he was getting to torture the employees of the Lazy K. Shop went under in three months, so that's probably not true either. He got another job. Got fired again. Sold cellphones. For two weeks. Started inviting people to his house. To learn about Amway. Couldn't hang onto any job long enough to be eligible for unemployment benefits when they realized what an idiot he is.
To an idiot, another idiot is a genius. But even idiots can tell that Fearless Leader is an idiot.
So Fearless Leader started emailing the CSB, begging for his job back and sending her photos of his dead dog and the new one he got to replace it.
In order to punish her parents for making her the mess that she is, the CSB convinced them to hire Fearless Leader to manage the Service Department at the original Lazy K. This is the mother ship, where motorcycles are assembled then left out to rust in the rain and snow all winter long and sent out to all the other Lazy Ks.
Bad things are starting to happen.
Busted
When he's not slurping salty nacho sauce out of her shaved beef taco and sending the CSB emails about big dogs or looking at the nasty stuff the Rhino emails him from littlemidgets.com, Super Trooper Freddy Fife of the State Highway Patrol gets to listen to the CSB complain about this blog. He loves hearing about the blog. It is much better than thinking about his little woman high on life with Taco Dave or ignoring the obvious symptoms of prescription pain medication addiction that have become a part of his daily life since hooking up with the CSB.
According to Freddy Fife of the State Highway Patrol, he has found a way to put an end to the blog and go back to the simple days of wondering where all the pain medications he got when he hurt his back at work disappeared to and worrying about whether or not the CSB is off passing out in Taco Dave's bed or sneaking out for a four hour lunch with some craigslist loser who sent her dick pics at work.
Freddy Fife's very clever theory is that because we used the words State Highway Patrol in an earlier post, the State Highway Patrol will launch a full investigation of this blog. According to Crime Fighter Fife, anytime there is a story that mentions the State Highway Patrol, anywhere, a top secret special division of the State Highway Patrol investigates. Once this extremely top secret division of the State Highway Patrol clears Fife of wrongdoing for whatever he thinks the blog says he's guilty of, they will set their sights on the authors of the blog, for putting the State Highway Patrol in a bad light, according to yet another brilliant theory which it sounds like Secret Agent Fife of the State Highway Patrol came up with over half a bottle of Tequila and the last of his Oxycontin.
So be forwarned, readers, and refrain from making comments which use the phrase State Highway Patrol, or you too may soon find yourself in a cell alongside the guy who tore those tags off that mattress.
Isn't there a speedtrap that needs to be manned somewhere?
According to Freddy Fife of the State Highway Patrol, he has found a way to put an end to the blog and go back to the simple days of wondering where all the pain medications he got when he hurt his back at work disappeared to and worrying about whether or not the CSB is off passing out in Taco Dave's bed or sneaking out for a four hour lunch with some craigslist loser who sent her dick pics at work.
Freddy Fife's very clever theory is that because we used the words State Highway Patrol in an earlier post, the State Highway Patrol will launch a full investigation of this blog. According to Crime Fighter Fife, anytime there is a story that mentions the State Highway Patrol, anywhere, a top secret special division of the State Highway Patrol investigates. Once this extremely top secret division of the State Highway Patrol clears Fife of wrongdoing for whatever he thinks the blog says he's guilty of, they will set their sights on the authors of the blog, for putting the State Highway Patrol in a bad light, according to yet another brilliant theory which it sounds like Secret Agent Fife of the State Highway Patrol came up with over half a bottle of Tequila and the last of his Oxycontin.
So be forwarned, readers, and refrain from making comments which use the phrase State Highway Patrol, or you too may soon find yourself in a cell alongside the guy who tore those tags off that mattress.
Isn't there a speedtrap that needs to be manned somewhere?
Deep Doo Doo
One of our customers became so enraged at how well the Lazy K managed to destroy his motorcycle in the service department, that he went into the bathroom and spread his own shit on all the walls and the toilet, pretty much everywhere he could, so it looked like an installation from Clyfford Still's angry brown phase. And it smelled pretty bad too.
How angry do you have to be to willingly handle your own feces?
The CSB had Baby Hitler make a sign that said the restroom was out of order, and they left it that way for three months, until we hired a new janitor to clean it up.
How angry do you have to be to willingly handle your own feces?
The CSB had Baby Hitler make a sign that said the restroom was out of order, and they left it that way for three months, until we hired a new janitor to clean it up.
Star is a Pole Smoker
Star has a close personal companion, Big Gay Byron, who he likes to spend a lot of time with in gay bars. But they are just friends who like to go out and try to pick up women together. The fact that they look for these women in gay bars might explain their lack of success and why they spend a lot of nights snuggling up together, commiserating their loses in a cozy little downtown flat.
When he is not trying to sell something or getting high in his car, Friar Tuck likes to stir the shit. So he has been back in Service and standing at the Parts counter, telling everyone that Star is a fag. This has upset Star greatly. He is very sensitive about his special friendship with Big Gay Byron, who introduced him to his Meal Ticket.
So Star went to the CSB, and got Friar Tuck written up for sexual harassment. The CSB sat Friar Tuck down and explained to him that it isn't nice to make fun of fags, and that the Lazy K doesn't discriminate against people because of their sexual orientation.
Star decided this wasn't the way he wanted the dressing down to go, and realized things were getting out of hand when the CSB said that a lot of her friends are gay and they are very sensitive, and Friar Tuck shouldn't tell everyone Star is gay, because a lot of people keep their private lives private.
By the time the CSB brought up personal water based lubricants, and the Rhino was doing an internet search for gay bars in the local metropolis and they were laughing and asking him if he'd been to various ones, Star decided writing up Friar Tuck was turning out to be a bad idea.
He asked the CSB if she could just tell Friar Tuck not to do it anymore, and not to make fun of his big gay friend and to stop telling everyone that they were gay lovers.
The CSB had the Rhino write up and distribute a memo to all the employees that they were not to make fun of Star's sexual orientation, whatever it may be.
When he is not trying to sell something or getting high in his car, Friar Tuck likes to stir the shit. So he has been back in Service and standing at the Parts counter, telling everyone that Star is a fag. This has upset Star greatly. He is very sensitive about his special friendship with Big Gay Byron, who introduced him to his Meal Ticket.
So Star went to the CSB, and got Friar Tuck written up for sexual harassment. The CSB sat Friar Tuck down and explained to him that it isn't nice to make fun of fags, and that the Lazy K doesn't discriminate against people because of their sexual orientation.
Star decided this wasn't the way he wanted the dressing down to go, and realized things were getting out of hand when the CSB said that a lot of her friends are gay and they are very sensitive, and Friar Tuck shouldn't tell everyone Star is gay, because a lot of people keep their private lives private.
By the time the CSB brought up personal water based lubricants, and the Rhino was doing an internet search for gay bars in the local metropolis and they were laughing and asking him if he'd been to various ones, Star decided writing up Friar Tuck was turning out to be a bad idea.
He asked the CSB if she could just tell Friar Tuck not to do it anymore, and not to make fun of his big gay friend and to stop telling everyone that they were gay lovers.
The CSB had the Rhino write up and distribute a memo to all the employees that they were not to make fun of Star's sexual orientation, whatever it may be.
Chasing Cars and Trucks
A guy came to the front counter, and asked to speak to the manager. The CSB looked up from cruising craigslist for more dick pics, and asked what was the problem.
"I just want to tell you that you lost a customer," he said, and walked out.
"Thank you for letting us know," said the CSB, and went back to answering personal ads.
Then for some reason, she sprang to her feet and ran out to his truck, and stood in the doorjam so he couldn't close his door, until he explained what the problem was. Apparently the service department had ruined his ATV and couldn't figure out how to make it like it was when it ran and he brought it in for it's first service.
The last time we can remember the CSB chasing a truck turned out to be a bad experience for her. She had found her "boyfriend", one of the salesmen who was about 20 years younger than her and a good friend of Star's, in a gay bar, with his arm around a fellow male expert in the art fellatio. The CSB started to rant at him/them about how wonderful she was until he ran from the place. Like any sane woman who finds her boyfriend/employee with his arm around another man in a gay bar, the CSB gave chase.
Star's very close friend got into his truck, then locked the doors and started to leave. After running around the truck banging on the windows and kicking the doors, the CSB decided the best way to deal with the situation was to jump in the back of a moving pickup. She missed and fell off, and showed up at work the next day with black eyes and bruises.
We never could figure out how you get two black eyes from falling out the back of a pickup truck. But to the CSB, this was the most plausible story she could come up with.
"I just want to tell you that you lost a customer," he said, and walked out.
"Thank you for letting us know," said the CSB, and went back to answering personal ads.
Then for some reason, she sprang to her feet and ran out to his truck, and stood in the doorjam so he couldn't close his door, until he explained what the problem was. Apparently the service department had ruined his ATV and couldn't figure out how to make it like it was when it ran and he brought it in for it's first service.
The last time we can remember the CSB chasing a truck turned out to be a bad experience for her. She had found her "boyfriend", one of the salesmen who was about 20 years younger than her and a good friend of Star's, in a gay bar, with his arm around a fellow male expert in the art fellatio. The CSB started to rant at him/them about how wonderful she was until he ran from the place. Like any sane woman who finds her boyfriend/employee with his arm around another man in a gay bar, the CSB gave chase.
Star's very close friend got into his truck, then locked the doors and started to leave. After running around the truck banging on the windows and kicking the doors, the CSB decided the best way to deal with the situation was to jump in the back of a moving pickup. She missed and fell off, and showed up at work the next day with black eyes and bruises.
We never could figure out how you get two black eyes from falling out the back of a pickup truck. But to the CSB, this was the most plausible story she could come up with.
The Homeless Guy
The Manatee watched a Homeless Guy wander into the $5 room and wheel a dirtbike out of the Lazy K. She thought a while, which she isn't very good at, then told Star what she had seen. Star explained to the Manatee that even though he looks like a bum with a bad white man afro who is trying to steal a motorcycle, the Homeless Guy is the hilljack who used to assemble motorcycles at one of the other Lazy Ks, then married the Fat Sneaky Bitch, the only one of Crustys spawn to actually attend special education classes. Marrying the FSB somehow qualified the guy who assembled motorcycles to run the brand new Lazy K.
Do brilliant business decisions like that on the part of Old Crusty and the Old Battleax somehow explain the steady six year decline in unit sales at the Lazy K? Business everywhere else seems to be booming.
Do brilliant business decisions like that on the part of Old Crusty and the Old Battleax somehow explain the steady six year decline in unit sales at the Lazy K? Business everywhere else seems to be booming.
Cheating Time
The CSB has borrowed a page out of her sister, the FSB's (Fat Sneaky Bitch) playbook, and decided the best way for the Lazy K to get out of it's present financial mess is to steal commissions from the salespeople whenever she can.
Her latest trick is to bring a used bike in on trade at a very low Actual Cash Value (ACV), and pay the salesperson his commission on that transaction, then raise the ACV on the used bike when it is sold, so the LazyK pays less commission, because there is less profit in the deal. The FSB gets away with this, because she can't get good salespeople to work for her and by the time a new hire figures out what's going on, he's already got one foot out the door.
At the Lazy K, this bit of subterfuge lasted about 12.1 seconds.
All the salespeople were ready to quit, and only the Tour Guide was giving guided tours.
Star was sent out to deal with the sales staff, while the CSB got on the phone to the Old Battleax and explained the situation.
"They can all go. I've done it before by myself, and I can do it again. I don't fucking need them to sell a fucking thing," she said, "They're harrassing me every goddamn day, from morning to night. I don't need this shit."
This went on for several hours, then a maraca (A fedex package that makes a rattling sound when you shake it. The CSB gets them several times a month.) came from the overseas pharmacy, and the CSB was able to relax and call the Old Battleax back and they agreed that since they'd been caught fucking Lil' Wigger out of his commission this time, they'd pay him what he deserved. It's all the times they don't get caught that will pull the Lazy K out of the neverending downward spiral to financial ruin. That and taking a weeks paid vacation away from all the employees who have been there five years or more. And stealing salespeople's Yamaha spiffs.
Once they decided to pay Lil' Wigger what he earned, the CSB went out onto the sales floor and told the sales staff she had resolved the issue in his favor, and it was all a big mistake that won't happen again. But she did call the Old Battleax, even though she hates talking to that fucking bitch (as she puts it), and get it taken care of, because she loves all the salespeople and they are all her favorites.
What are the odds a Las Vegas bookmaker would give that if the CSB told you that you are the only one in her life, and you left town for a long weekend, the CSB would not call and email Taco Dave, talk about spanking and anal sex, arrange to meet him, then leave early?
I hope nobody took that bet.
Her latest trick is to bring a used bike in on trade at a very low Actual Cash Value (ACV), and pay the salesperson his commission on that transaction, then raise the ACV on the used bike when it is sold, so the LazyK pays less commission, because there is less profit in the deal. The FSB gets away with this, because she can't get good salespeople to work for her and by the time a new hire figures out what's going on, he's already got one foot out the door.
At the Lazy K, this bit of subterfuge lasted about 12.1 seconds.
All the salespeople were ready to quit, and only the Tour Guide was giving guided tours.
Star was sent out to deal with the sales staff, while the CSB got on the phone to the Old Battleax and explained the situation.
"They can all go. I've done it before by myself, and I can do it again. I don't fucking need them to sell a fucking thing," she said, "They're harrassing me every goddamn day, from morning to night. I don't need this shit."
This went on for several hours, then a maraca (A fedex package that makes a rattling sound when you shake it. The CSB gets them several times a month.) came from the overseas pharmacy, and the CSB was able to relax and call the Old Battleax back and they agreed that since they'd been caught fucking Lil' Wigger out of his commission this time, they'd pay him what he deserved. It's all the times they don't get caught that will pull the Lazy K out of the neverending downward spiral to financial ruin. That and taking a weeks paid vacation away from all the employees who have been there five years or more. And stealing salespeople's Yamaha spiffs.
Once they decided to pay Lil' Wigger what he earned, the CSB went out onto the sales floor and told the sales staff she had resolved the issue in his favor, and it was all a big mistake that won't happen again. But she did call the Old Battleax, even though she hates talking to that fucking bitch (as she puts it), and get it taken care of, because she loves all the salespeople and they are all her favorites.
What are the odds a Las Vegas bookmaker would give that if the CSB told you that you are the only one in her life, and you left town for a long weekend, the CSB would not call and email Taco Dave, talk about spanking and anal sex, arrange to meet him, then leave early?
I hope nobody took that bet.
Over the Rainbow
Paco has become positively psychotic over pictures of rainbows, and demands that they be removed from the company website, because he thinks people think he works in a Gay Store now.
Paco is also upset because the CSB will sell motorcycles to customers for less than she sold one to him, and the other salespeople make fun of Paco for letting her rip him off.
Paco Works in a Gay Store.
And he does own a lot of leather clothing.
FYI- We have decided to quit moderating comments. Post whatever you want. Enjoy.
Paco is also upset because the CSB will sell motorcycles to customers for less than she sold one to him, and the other salespeople make fun of Paco for letting her rip him off.
Paco Works in a Gay Store.
And he does own a lot of leather clothing.
FYI- We have decided to quit moderating comments. Post whatever you want. Enjoy.
The Buddha's New Bike
Recently the CSB called one of the people she thinks is responsible for the blog and offered him the Buddha's job if he would come back, even though Star and Baby Hitler say they will leave if he comes back. They won't. They've tried and found they have nowhere else to go that doesn't involve the quick service of hot and juicy hamburgers if they want to stay in management. The CSB sounded a little far from home. She has offered the Buddha's job in the past to Beans, Ol' Wigger, Friar Tuck, Mondo, the woman who approves our loans at the place we send people with bad credit, some guy who asked for three weeks of summer vacation after she agreed to hire him and before she canned the Buddha last year, and everyone who read her myspace page before she canceled it so people who read this blog wouldn't find it and think she's a real ho, sans nappy head.
The Buddha decided he wanted a new VTX 1300. He put together the numbers and gave them to the CSB to sign off on. She said she would talk about it with the Old Battleax, and left it at that. After time passed, and it seemed the matter was forgotten, the Buddha went to Star and asked him to intercede on his behalf with the CSB. So Star approached the CSB. For whatever reason, the CSB decided to call the Old Battleax and discuss the Buddha's purchase. She stood at the counter, where the customers come to pay for bikes and merchandise, and made the call while the Buddha was out smoking.
"Why should the Buddha get a deal? I don't want to give him a fucking deal." the CSB asked her mother, "He wants a fucking deal. I don't fucking owe that son of a bitch a fucking thing. Why should I give him a fucking deal. He doesn't deserve a fucking deal. He's a fucking backstabber. I don't want to fucking give him anything."
Everybody who works at the Lazy K and anyone who wanted to buy anything got to hear the CSB discuss the Buddha and his motorcycle purchase in these glowing terms until she saw the doors open in the service department and the Buddha begin the long saunter back to his office, the old desk with the heavy duty chair in the corner by the oft filled empty candy machine.
"I'm not giving that fucker anything. I'll call you back later," said the CSB and hung up the phone.
"Why can't that old bitch just leave me the fuck alone to do what I fucking want?" she asked rhetorically, then got back on the computer.
The Buddha decided he wanted a new VTX 1300. He put together the numbers and gave them to the CSB to sign off on. She said she would talk about it with the Old Battleax, and left it at that. After time passed, and it seemed the matter was forgotten, the Buddha went to Star and asked him to intercede on his behalf with the CSB. So Star approached the CSB. For whatever reason, the CSB decided to call the Old Battleax and discuss the Buddha's purchase. She stood at the counter, where the customers come to pay for bikes and merchandise, and made the call while the Buddha was out smoking.
"Why should the Buddha get a deal? I don't want to give him a fucking deal." the CSB asked her mother, "He wants a fucking deal. I don't fucking owe that son of a bitch a fucking thing. Why should I give him a fucking deal. He doesn't deserve a fucking deal. He's a fucking backstabber. I don't want to fucking give him anything."
Everybody who works at the Lazy K and anyone who wanted to buy anything got to hear the CSB discuss the Buddha and his motorcycle purchase in these glowing terms until she saw the doors open in the service department and the Buddha begin the long saunter back to his office, the old desk with the heavy duty chair in the corner by the oft filled empty candy machine.
"I'm not giving that fucker anything. I'll call you back later," said the CSB and hung up the phone.
"Why can't that old bitch just leave me the fuck alone to do what I fucking want?" she asked rhetorically, then got back on the computer.
Bandit Bites Another Little Girl
Paco finally sold something. He's been pretty upset over the way he is portrayed as an efficient little worker bee buzzing merrily away in Chaos Meadows, and has been blaming the fact that everyone in the world knows about the blog for keeping people out of the store (I think we'd have more than 6 billion hits by now if that were true). So Paco and the Tour Guide have been sitting at Paco's desk, looking at videos of ZX-14s and drag motorcycle accessories on Paco's laptop.
Finally, Paco got someone to buy a Honda for his son, and had hidden the freight and prep fees like the CSB tells us to now that we are being sued, so Paco was going to make decent money. He kept his customer away from the CSB, so she couldn't open her mouth and serve up a discount, cutting into Paco's commission.
Paco was leading his customer back to the accessories counter, to get the little lad a helmet and chest protector. Suddenly, Bandit started barking and ran after the customer's little girl. The girl screamed and ran away. Bandit gave chase, and bit her on the calf, hard enough to leave a red mark.
The girl started crying, and the CSB came out from behind her computer.
"Your dog just bit my little girl," said Dad.
"She's not trying to hurt you," said the CSB, "She's just trying to herd you. Bandit loves children."
"Your dog bit my little girl," repeated Dad.
"Let me see what I can do to make things right," said the CSB.
She took the bill of sale from Paco, deducted $750, so Paco went from making money on the deal to making $5, and told the little boy he could have a free helmet. Then she locked Bandit in the back room so they could continue shopping in peace, without being herded.
After they left, the CSB said, "That little girl was running all over the place. No wonder Bandit bit her. People should keep kids like that at home."
Finally, Paco got someone to buy a Honda for his son, and had hidden the freight and prep fees like the CSB tells us to now that we are being sued, so Paco was going to make decent money. He kept his customer away from the CSB, so she couldn't open her mouth and serve up a discount, cutting into Paco's commission.
Paco was leading his customer back to the accessories counter, to get the little lad a helmet and chest protector. Suddenly, Bandit started barking and ran after the customer's little girl. The girl screamed and ran away. Bandit gave chase, and bit her on the calf, hard enough to leave a red mark.
The girl started crying, and the CSB came out from behind her computer.
"Your dog just bit my little girl," said Dad.
"She's not trying to hurt you," said the CSB, "She's just trying to herd you. Bandit loves children."
"Your dog bit my little girl," repeated Dad.
"Let me see what I can do to make things right," said the CSB.
She took the bill of sale from Paco, deducted $750, so Paco went from making money on the deal to making $5, and told the little boy he could have a free helmet. Then she locked Bandit in the back room so they could continue shopping in peace, without being herded.
After they left, the CSB said, "That little girl was running all over the place. No wonder Bandit bit her. People should keep kids like that at home."
Closing Time?
DISTRICT ATTORNEY PUTS BRAKES ON ALL-TERRAIN VEHICLE DEALER'S BOGUS CUSTOMER CHARGES
The District Attorney issued the following news release:
District Attorney Sam Shady today sued all-terrain vehicle and motorcycle dealer Lazy K for routinely slipping bogus "freight" and "dealer" charges - sometimes totaling more than $600 - into sales contracts with its customers, violating state law.
Shady filed the lawsuit in Nirvana County Superior Court against the dealer, which also does business under the name Crusty, Inc., accusing it of numerous violations of the state's Consumer Sales Practices Act and the state Advertisement and Sale of Motor Vehicles Rule for routinely adding phony charges to the advertised Manufacturer's Suggested Retail Prices for ATVs and motorcycles it sold.
"Most consumers don't realize when retailers are adding an unauthorized charge to the legitimate cost of a purchase, and they end up paying much more than they should," Shady said. "Our lawsuit alleges this company routinely pulled a fast one on its customers and violated state laws and rules that clearly protect consumers from such deception."
The District Attorney asked the court for an injunction against the defendant, consumer restitution for the overcharges, and a civil penalty of $200,000, plus costs.
The District Attorney said the company violated state consumer protection laws and rules by failing to include in its advertised prices for motor vehicles all costs except for taxes, title and registration fees, and documentary service charges; failing to make vehicles available at advertised prices; failing to clearly disclose all material terms and conditions of its vehicle sales; charging for "freight" and for prepping vehicles for sale despite agreeing with manufacturers not to assess such charges; and charging for unspecified and unnecessary services that were never performed.
Bandit is Dying, You Fucking Assholes
Bandit has been throwing up and having large smelly shits in the showroom for the last few days. So the CSB has been keeping her locked in the back office where she likes to pass out. The CSB has decided that one or both of the Wigger brothers are responsible for Bandit's illness, and her favorite theory is that they are feeding Bandit pickles and deliberately trying to kill the little monster. The CSB has been screaming at them to stay the fuck away from her dog. She had Twerpy the parts monkey and the weird new guy who has to register with the police when he moves put up kiddie doors to keep the dogs away from the sales staff. She instructed Tits Ahoy and the Manatee to watch everyone and tell her if anyone feeds her dogs.
Maybe Bandit is having sugar withdrawals because we haven't fed her cookies and chocolate lately.
The CSB took Bandit to the Vet, and told everyone she was there until 5:30 with the barking dog from hell, even though the discharge papers said she left around 10:00. She also told us that the Vet tested Bandit and Bandit tested positive for Cocoa in her system.
Why would someone lie about how long they were at the Vet's with their dog? Does anyone really believe your value as a person is measured by how long you stay at the doctor's office with a sick pet, or is it yet another ploy for sympathy, a desperate plea for attention, or an excuse for behaving the following day like a complete and total fucking cunt?
When Bandit barks like a dog possessed, because Mondo has been shoving No-Doz down her throat just to see what the equivalent of 16 cups of coffee will do to a small annoying dog that he wishes would die, the CSB screams at her to shut the fuck up. When the CSB left for one of her three hour lunches with the guy on craigslist who sent her dick pics, Tits Ahoy decided it was time to clean out the refrigerator. It hadn't been done in some time, and there were lots of old salads, which the CSB ordered and then got too fucked up to remember to eat, a few unfinished pizzas, assorted Taco Bell and a sausage biscuit from the BP gas station that was hard as a hockey puck.
A couple of the salespeople volunteered to help clean out the refrigerator. They went into the back room, opened the refrigerator, took all the old rotten food out, and threw it on the floor. Then one of them went and got Bandit, and turned her loose. It took almost an hour, but Bandit ate the sausage biscuit, all the left over Taco Bell, a lot of rotten salad and several pieces of pizza.
It's been easy for the customers to step over and around the piles of dog shit, because they forgot to take the foil wrapper off the sausage biscuit and Bandit ate it anyway, so it sort of sparkles when the light catches it just right.
Maybe Bandit is having sugar withdrawals because we haven't fed her cookies and chocolate lately.
The CSB took Bandit to the Vet, and told everyone she was there until 5:30 with the barking dog from hell, even though the discharge papers said she left around 10:00. She also told us that the Vet tested Bandit and Bandit tested positive for Cocoa in her system.
Why would someone lie about how long they were at the Vet's with their dog? Does anyone really believe your value as a person is measured by how long you stay at the doctor's office with a sick pet, or is it yet another ploy for sympathy, a desperate plea for attention, or an excuse for behaving the following day like a complete and total fucking cunt?
When Bandit barks like a dog possessed, because Mondo has been shoving No-Doz down her throat just to see what the equivalent of 16 cups of coffee will do to a small annoying dog that he wishes would die, the CSB screams at her to shut the fuck up. When the CSB left for one of her three hour lunches with the guy on craigslist who sent her dick pics, Tits Ahoy decided it was time to clean out the refrigerator. It hadn't been done in some time, and there were lots of old salads, which the CSB ordered and then got too fucked up to remember to eat, a few unfinished pizzas, assorted Taco Bell and a sausage biscuit from the BP gas station that was hard as a hockey puck.
A couple of the salespeople volunteered to help clean out the refrigerator. They went into the back room, opened the refrigerator, took all the old rotten food out, and threw it on the floor. Then one of them went and got Bandit, and turned her loose. It took almost an hour, but Bandit ate the sausage biscuit, all the left over Taco Bell, a lot of rotten salad and several pieces of pizza.
It's been easy for the customers to step over and around the piles of dog shit, because they forgot to take the foil wrapper off the sausage biscuit and Bandit ate it anyway, so it sort of sparkles when the light catches it just right.
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